Real tagline or fever dream?
It’s Friday, and while I have my usual mix of news and tips to keep you tech ahead and not tech left behind, let’s have some fun, too. I’m sure you know that companies toss millions of dollars into the marketing volcano, hoping to birth the next “Just Do It.”
You’re not too cool for these ’90s tech tricks
Every Thursday, the internet gets doused in nostalgia: cargo pants, weird bangs and MySpace screenshots.
Here’s a vintage revival you didn’t know you needed. Throwback tech hacks that still solve real problems. No hard drive whirring required.
🌳 Transform your yard without breaking a sweat: Fast Growing Trees takes out the hassle and guesswork. Just tell them your zip code, and they’ll match you with the perfect trees and shrubs for your climate. They ship straight to your door, no messy garden center trips required. I picked up an avocado tree, and it’s thriving! Use promo code KIM to save an extra 15%.
Only 1 in 4
AI projects actually deliver a return on investment. Still, companies are FOMOing cash at them like it’s a sure thing — 64% of CEOs jumped in before even knowing if the tech would help. But hey, they’re playing the long game. Most don’t expect results for at least two years. Gotta spend it to (maybe) earn it.
Get paid to prove you’re human (don’t)
Would you let someone scan your eyeball in exchange for some free cryptocurrency?
Yes, your actual eyeball. This isn’t an audition for Season 4 of Black Mirror. It’s the premise behind OpenAI founder Sam Altman’s new project called World.
3 ways to instantly look smarter on video calls
Have you ever joined a Zoom call and thought, “Why do I look like a vampire who doesn’t know where the camera is?” Since it’s the start of a new week, here are easy tricks to make you look brighter, smarter and significantly less like you’re broadcasting from a cave.
📈 Teens are using ChatGPT for stocks: They’re running prompts to see where their money could land in a few years if they invest now. Take 15-year-old Ryan, up $6,000 after throwing his $800 paychecks into Bitcoin and MicroStrategy. Ambitious? Sure. Kids these days are skipping lawn mowing hustles and going straight to leveraged ETFs.
Down under deception: Most listeners in Australia thought “Thy” from “Workdays with Thy” was a real radio host for six months. The truth that she’s actually an AI from ElevenLabs only came out after some listeners dug into her backstory. Thy’s next career move? Running for office.
📬 Tired of spam and snooping? Bob from Illinois said it best: “I switched to StartMail, and I get no more junk email. Plus, no big tech snoops and trackers!” You can move your whole inbox without missing a beat, too. No downtime, no data lost and total privacy. Right now, snag 60% off your first year — a smart switch at a smart price.
These tech tips will make you too powerful
When you’re the tech-savvy friend, it’s basically your job to fix everything that plugs in. Who saves the saviors? Me! Now, depending on your OS, model, updates and general tech karma, your screen might not match mine exactly. Don’t panic, just keep moving forward. You’ve got this!