Introducing ‘Dookie Demastered’

✈️ It’s been over 10 years since Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 disappeared: Researchers have a new idea to solve the mystery — throw a Boeing 777 flaperon (part of the wing) strapped with sensors into the Indian Ocean. They’ll monitor how the flaperon moves in the sea and compare marine growth to what washed ashore from flight MH370. This guy told me he knows exactly where the wreckage is.

A new drug mimics the effects of a long run in just one pill. LaKe appears to flush toxins, strengthen the heart, suppress hunger and reduce the risk of major diseases, just like strenuous exercise. All that and no chafing? Bring it on!

Forget shovels and brushes: Today’s archaeologists use cutting-edge tech to uncover ancient secrets. LiDAR sends laser pulses from drones or planes to map the ground and reveal entire lost cities hidden under forests. Advances in DNA sequencing now uncover shocking details about old bones and sacrificial practices. And AI is sifting through scrolls and deciphering text faster than ever. Sounds like a neat job!

White-collar criminals are shelling out to stay connected in prison. Some are smuggled in by guards and others via drone. A former securities broker who went to prison told Business Insider (paywall link) a box of 50 phones, camouflaged to look like grass, landed in the yard one day.

🎾 Tennis takes balls: Wimbledon is replacing line judges with live AI electronic line calling to decide whether the ball is in or out. It’s already in play at big tournaments like the U.S. Open and Australian Open. My condolences to the 300 line judges out of a job. I’m going to miss the players throwing tantrums over the judges’ calls.

I couldn’t think of Ariel-y good pun: Grocery chain Kroger is offering a free subscription to Disney+, Hulu or ESPN+ for members of their Boost loyalty program, which is $59 a year. Heads-up: Spectrum and DirecTV customers get Disney+ free, too.

🔄 Patch Tuesday: Microsoft just dropped fixes for 118 security flaws, including five zero-day vulnerabilities. These bugs let hackers bypass security features, execute malicious code remotely and take control of your system — all bad stuff. Go to Start > Settings > Update & Security > Windows Update, then click Check for updates.

Temu is selling a knockoff remote that works with Amazon’s Fire TV. What a bargain … for something that could be listening and sending everything you do back to Communist China. Stay away.