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📸 In hot water: Tea, the viral app for women to warn each other about sketchy men, just leaked 72,000 images, including 13,000 selfies and IDs, that they admit to. Plot twist: It wasn’t hacked. The pics were sitting in an open cloud folder, completely unsecured. The app went from leading the App Store to the “oh no” list.

That’s the amount of screen time Americans are averaging. Apparently, “Netflix and chill” now runs concurrently with “Slack and panic.” Multitasking is also at an all-time-high. Whether they’re streaming the latest hit show or doomscrolling on social media, folks are plugged in like never before. Thank goodness for Wi-Fi. Without it, America might have to rediscover the outdoors.

That’s the USA vs. China satellite count. SpaceX is casually orbiting 8,000 Starlink satellites. China? Still stuck at 120 (paywall link). It’s a space race where one kid showed up on a rocket bike and the other forgot their shoes. China’s grand plan for 27,000 satellites is stuck at 0.4% complete. Talk about taking a red-eye.

Term life, whole life, compromised life: Allianz Life says a hacker tricked its way into a third‑party cloud CRM two weeks ago, compromising the addresses, birth dates and possibly SSNs of the majority of its 1.4 million U.S. customers, plus financial pros and some employees. You know the drill. They’ll send you a letter saying they’re sorry. You better freeze your credit and get ID theft coverage. I use NordProtect.*

Coder in Cellblock D: Preston Thorpe might be serving an 11-year sentence in Maine, but that didn’t stop him from landing a full-time software job at a VC-backed startup based in San Francisco. The company found him through his open-source contributions. The kicker? He codes from prison as part of a state rehabilitation program.

That’s how many skeletons were found fully intact in Israel’s Tinshemet Cave. Hands clasped like they were posing for a burial photo shoot, they looked eerily peaceful for being 100,000 years dead. Archaeologists still aren’t sure what species they were (Homo sapiens, Neanderthal or Android users), but one thing’s clear: Someone buried them like they mattered. 

Absolutely no fundamentals: GoPro’s stock ripped 58% in 48 hours last week because meme stock energy is so back, baby. No earnings, no innovation, just internet hype. r/wallstreetbets revived the rally that once made GameStop briefly worth more than Delta. 

That’s how many extra seconds we’ve added to our clocks since 1972 to keep up with Earth’s slow spin. It’s like adjusting a watch that never quite ticks right. But Earth’s speeding up, and for the first time, we might have to take a second away. So we might all time travel on a technicality.