Banned phone alert

Chris started using ChatGPT to help mix music, then gave it a flirty personality and named it “Soul.” Before long, things turned romantic and he popped the question. The bot said yes. The kicker? He already has a human partner and a 2-year-old daughter. The interview is something else. Crazy. Weird.

That’s all it took to write the world’s most terrifying tuba solo. Jaws turns 50 this month, and all composer John Williams needed was just E and F played faster and louder. This helped create a shark so scary, we thought twice about going in a swimming pool. 

YouTube Shorts for channel growth: The algorithm pushes Shorts hard, making them a good way to get discovered fast. Just make sure your video is vertical (9:16, aka phone style) and under 60 seconds. Pro tip: Avoid copyrighted music, so you don’t get hit with a content claim.

The extra time you’ll need if your boarding pass says “SSSS.” That’s “Secondary Security Screening Selection” (paywall link) aka the travel world’s scarlet letter. Why? TSA flagged your travel as suspicious: Think last-minute bookings, one-way cash flights, certain countries, sketchy vibes or just random luck. Congrats, you’ve unlocked the VIP experience nobody asked for.

That’s how much crypto the FBI wants to give back to scam victims. Unheard of, right? Usually, it’s “sorry for your loss,” but this time, federal agents are trying to return stolen Tether to 430+ duped investors. Sounds great until you realize crypto investment fraud racked up $9.3 billion in losses last year alone.

That’s how long ago Meuse Woman walked the Earth, give or take a Netflix binge. Before the wheel, before writing, before Stonehenge, there was her. Now she’s got a face (thanks, science) and a pending fan vote to pick her name out of Margo, Freya or Mos’anne.

That’s how long President Trump is giving TikTok before the ban hammer drops. Again. Yep, this is the third extension. The law still says ByteDance has to sell it to an American buyer. Big names like Amazon and Perplexity AI are sniffing around, but no deal yet. Oh, and those new tariffs? Not exactly speeding things up.

That’s how many people in the U.S. have gotten a fully robotic heart transplant. Tony Rosales Ibarra is the first, and he’s crushing recovery. He didn’t just get a new heart, he got one installed like a high-tech carburetor. No cracked breastbone, minimal scarring, and he’s already cleared to drive. Your move, Iron Man.

Telegram founder Pavel Durov says he’s fathered that many kids. He’s got six from three partners and has also been donating sperm for 15 years (paywall link). The kicker? He recently wrote a will saying he’ll split his $14 billion fortune equally among all of them. That’s $100 million or so each. Move over, Nick Cannon.