The Great Firewall of China

🔮 Witches on the payroll: Before their hot streak, the Mariners were cooked. Then a fan hired SpellByLuna on Etsy to “unf*ck the team.” Now? Nine wins straight and a team-approved witch cameo on X. Players even shouted out the witch. Sports curses? Cliché. Sports spells? Apparently working overtime. I think the witch was from Austin, which makes her a hexin’ Texan.

⚡️ 3-second tech genius: On YouTube desktop, press 0 on your keyboard to restart a video instantly. Or hit numbers 1 through 9 to jump to that percentage of the playback. Nice.

⚠️ Keep your email private: Big email providers like Gmail and Yahoo track what you do. I use StartMail because it keeps my inbox secure, stops spam and keeps my personal info private. Try it free for 7 days, and when you sign up, you’ll get my 60% off deal for the first year! It’s a terrific service.

🌍 Free Wi-Fi takes flight: Good news, you might not have to pay $8 just to text “landed” anymore. Free in-flight Wi-Fi is expanding, boosted by new satellite providers like Starlink. That’s right, soon you can finally stream Netflix while squished in seat 32B. I’d like to believe this to be true. I was on a 10.5-hour flight from London to Los Angeles on Monday with no Wi-Fi. Torture.

Wi-Fi ate my homework: Mark Zuckerberg tried showing off Meta’s new AI glasses at the company’s big Connect conference yesterday. Instead, the AI froze, ignored instructions and left a panicked chef begging for help while Zuck blamed “bad Wi-Fi.” And cue Zuck gesturing wildly like a dad trying to connect the Roku. Been there.

⚡ Hands off my wallet: The BBB says crooks are pulling a new move called “ghost tapping” (paywall link). They carry a legit-looking wireless card reader, like the ones you see at coffee shops, and only need to get a few feet from your tap-to-pay card or phone. Bump into you at a concert? Stand too close in a line? Boom, tiny “test” charge hits your account. The scam works best on debit cards since the money comes out instantly. Easiest defenses: Toss your cards in an RFID-blocking sleeve (they’re cheap), turn on instant bank alerts and always check the terminal screen before tapping your phone, debit or credit card. If something feels sketchy, swipe or insert instead. It’s pickpocketing, just upgraded for 2025. These scams are getting nuts.

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Robo-blitz incoming: Amazon is layering AI over NFL broadcasts like queso on fries. You’ll gradually start noticing video game-like overlays on Thursday Night Football. You’ll see if your QB’s about to get pancaked, whether your team has even a prayer of a comeback and which defender’s sneaking up to ruin the drive. I love tight ends.

Parent app overload: Parenting used to mean packing lunch. Now it’s like managing a startup. Schools have separate apps for buses, grades and announcements, and parents get 80+ emails a month. Kindergarten has more software than my first job.