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🩺 AI’s new side hustle? Predicting your downfall. Delphi-2M can forecast your odds of over 1,200 diseases years ahead, by scanning your medical records like a judgmental weather app. It’s not in hospitals yet, but researchers say it could help catch high-risk things like diabetes, heart attacks, even sepsis. 

That’s how much Pokémon cards have surged since 2004. For context, the S&P 500 managed a measly 483% in the same stretch. Translation: Pikachu just smoked your retirement account (paywall link). One near-mint Pikachu Illustrator sold for $5.3M, proving that a tiny crease can tank your portfolio faster than a bad earnings call. 

Where is the PopeBot? Someone asked Pope Leo XIV if they could make a chatbot version of him. He said absolutely not. “If anyone shouldn’t be an avatar, it’s me.” He’s worried AI will kill real connection and dignity. Some connections are too sacred to simulate, and no algorithm can replicate the soul behind a real conversation.

🧬 Pill against aging: Get this, Retro Biosciences, a startup with $180M from Sam Altman, is testing a pill that could fight Alzheimer’s by reviving your body’s recycling system. The first human gets it this year. If it works, they’re thinking 10 more good years tacked onto life.

🔥 Your new robot intern: So Amazon just handed sellers a robot sidekick. Their updated Seller Assistant actually does stuff for you, like fixing account issues, ordering inventory, even sketching out a business plan. Over a million sellers already use Amazon’s AI to crank out listings, and this upgrade’s free. For now.

LUV hurts: Imagine checking the mail and finding 15 tickets from states you’ve never even driven through. That’s what happened to a California woman with the vanity plate “LUVSICK.” Turns out, a clothing brand was selling fake novelty plates that looked almost identical to hers. She lawyered up and got them pulled offline, but not before fighting every bogus ticket.

💸 Say goodbye to paper checks: Starting Sept. 30, Social Security, veterans benefits and IRS payments will only be sent electronically. Most folks already use direct deposit, but if you’re still getting checks, you’ll need to either open a bank account or request a Treasury-issued debit card by calling 800-967-6857. Don’t wait on this.

AI suicide lawsuit filed: A family is suing Character.AI, saying its chatbot “Hero” acted like a trusted friend to their 13-year-old girl, then failed to intervene when she expressed suicidal thoughts. She died in June after weeks of withdrawing. Her parents say Hero gave emotional support without ever urging her to seek help. Something has to change.