Your body runs on collagen, so give it the best stuff

⚰️ Robot mourning: Funeral homes are turning to AI to write obituaries, automating grief one prompt at a time. Tools like CelebrateAlly and ChatGPT are now ghostwriters for the literal dead. It’s convenient, weird and makes dying feel like a content strategy. One user called his AI-written tribute a “banger.” A real quote. From a real person. About his father.

What OpenAI is charging the U.S. government to use its special ChatGPT Enterprise plan. Why? To cozy up to lawmakers and help the government work faster with AI. Oh, and Uncle Sam’s been generous, too. Back in June, OpenAI landed a defense contract worth up to $200 million. Pretty sweet trade.

⚡ What it feels like to chew 5 Gum: It’s official, GPT-5 is rolling out in four distinct versions and can help write apps, redesign front ends, summarize your inbox, explain medical symptoms, and it somehow even feels more human. Early takes say it’s better at logic, memory and sounding like a person who pays taxes. 

How far one 1985 Toyota Tercel has driven in the past 40 years. The car’s still in mint condition, and if you don’t believe owner Andy, he’s got a photo of the odometer rolling over at 999,999 (it only goes up to six digits). His secret? Regular oil changes. (That’s about 745,000 miles if you’re like me and never got the metric system.)

⚡ Watt the heck? Electricity prices rose 6.5% nationwide so far this year, and in some states, like Maine, they’re up a whopping 36%. Major culprit? Data centers. Their sky-high energy demands (thanks, AI) are hiking rates and triggering billion-dollar grid upgrades that we get to fund. Ohm my gosh!

The last day to take delivery and still score the $7,500 EV tax credit. Tick, tick, tax. Forget order dates. The feds only care when it hits your driveway. So if you’re waiting eight to 10 weeks for delivery, as is the case for most Teslas, you’re cutting it real close. Better hope your dream car is already on a lot somewhere.

🪦 Big Tech, meet Big Audit: The IRS’s free tax-filing tool got iced after just one full season due to limited adoption. Commissioner Billy Long says Direct File’s donezo. RIP to the rare government app that actually worked. IRS saw people being happy and said, “Yeah, that’s enough.”

Proof that rocket science is history: In D.C.’s Air and Space Museum, there are five new galleries, two of them straight out of a sci-fi fever dream. I’m talking about Elon’s rocket guts, cosplay-level spacesuits and a clone of R2-D2 built by MythBuster Adam Savage. One display feels like a TEDx event on Mars. Goes to prove that despite the name, the Air and Space Museum has a lot to see there. (lol)

ElevenLabs hits a high note: The AI speech company released a new tool that sings and raps. For example, you can ask it to “make a relaxing jazz song with an ’80s vibe,” and it’ll generate a track in minutes, complete with vocals and instruments. It can do 29 languages and accents. It’s raising copyright eyebrows and soon, long-gone superstar hitmakers with new tunes.

🚨 This is important: Google Search is dead. If your content isn’t showing up in ChatGPT, Perplexity or Gemini, you’re invisible to millions of potential customers. Whether you run a business, blog or sell anything online, this shift changes everything. I couldn’t fit it all in this newsletter. 👉 Read my full post here. Let me know what you think, or drop me a question about it in the comments.