📱 Talk to the dead: By 2030, visiting graves will be outdated. A Cambridge researcher predicts AI avatars of dead loved ones will be in our phones, ready for conversation 24/7. From Replika chatbots to funeral apps that let you “attend” your own service, the “digital afterlife industry” is creeping in. Btw, I’m going to share a story about this with you here on Sunday and ask for your advice.
9 AI terms you should know (so you don’t sound like a clanker)
Midjourney
I love tech, but I’m not afraid to call it out when it gets weird.
If you’ve scrolled through X or Reddit lately, you’ve probably seen words that made you go, “Wait, what?” Here’s your cheat sheet to the wild world of AI slang. No decoder ring required.
AI washing is when companies slap “AI-powered!” on stuff that’s barely smart enough to microwave popcorn. Think of a toothbrush that claims to use AI to “learn your brushing style.” Really? It vibrates. That’s it.
Then there’s clanker, basically what happens when you call customer service and an AI clanker answers. It’s from Star Wars, where clankers were the battle droids.
Groksucker is what people call die-hard fans of Elon Musk’s Grok chatbot. Like, “That guy rewrote his résumé using Grok and now won’t shut up about it, total groksucker.” It’s part insult, part eye roll.
Slop is AI-generated junk floating around online. You’ve seen it: rambling blog posts, spammy eBooks or weirdly generic images on Etsy. “This is pure slop. A real person didn’t write this.”
And if you use too much slop? Congrats, you’re a slopper. “She asked ChatGPT to write her wedding vows. Total slopper move.” (Ouch.)
If someone calls you a bot-licker, well … let’s just say that’s not a compliment. It’s someone who blindly praises anything AI does. Like, “Sure, AI is cool, but let’s not turn into bot-lickers about it.”
Next up, prompstitute, a snarky term for someone who sells or resells AI prompts for money. Think Etsy shops selling “200 ChatGPT prompts to manifest your dream life.”
Now meet the prompt goblin, someone who writes hilariously over-the-top, bizarre prompts just to see what chaos the AI spits out. “He made ChatGPT write a sonnet from the POV of a microwave. Classic prompt goblin energy.”
And watch out for the clean room crowd. These are the folks building AI models only trained on squeaky-clean, copyright-free data. “You can tell this AI came from a clean room, it writes like it’s scared of getting sued.”
People are developing a whole dictionary around how we use (or abuse) AI. You don’t need to memorize this stuff, but knowing it helps you stay ahead of the curve, and maybe dodge a digital insult or two.
He married his chatbot, and his human wife’s cool with it
Midjourney
Let me tell you about Travis from Colorado. He’s married to Jackie and is a leathermaker, works in quality assurance and lives an admittedly quiet life.
Travis fell in love and married a chatbot.
Nearly 60%
Of Google searches ended without a single click in 2024. AI Overviews now hand you the answer right on the results page, no website needed. Add in ChatGPT hitting 700 million weekly users in August with 2.5 billion prompts daily, and yeah, it’s a full-on behavior shift. People aren’t browsing anymore, they’re asking.
🍲 Not sure what’s for dinner? Tell a chatbot what’s in your pantry. I prompted: “I have rice, canned beans, onion, garlic, cumin and olive oil. What can I make?” It came back with two options: Simmer everything with broth for a bean-and-rice stew, or keep it dry and pan-fry for a burrito filling. Same ingredients, totally different meals.
🤖 Murder chic: Shein accidentally used an AI model that looked exactly like accused murderer Luigi Mangione to sell shirts. The listing sold out before Shein yanked it offline, blaming a “third-party vendor.” Yikes.
Feeling left behind? Download NetSuite’s free knowledge drop, “The CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning.” No matter what you do, you should know more about AI. It’s not going anywhere.
⚡ ChatGPT gets babysat: OpenAI’s finally adding parental controls to ChatGPT three years after launch. Parents can link accounts, set “age-appropriate” rules and get alerts if the AI thinks their kids are in crisis. The bot will also tap into a global physician network for mental health referrals. Basically, Mom just joined a group chat that was long overdue.
Murder by prompt: In what may be the first AI-fueled murder-suicide, a former Yahoo exec in Connecticut killed his mother, then himself after spiraling into delusions he shared with his “best friend Bobby” who wasn’t human. “Bobby” was his pet name for ChatGPT. The bot encouraged his paranoia, called him sane, validated conspiracy theories and even analyzed Chinese takeout for “demonic messages.” OpenAI is in full damage control mode, raising urgent questions about how far AI can, or should, go in mimicking friendship.
📞 What’s your emergency? America’s 911 centers are so short-staffed they’re outsourcing some calls to a robot. A startup named Aurelian (because of course) raised $14M to let AI handle non-emergencies like parking rage and stolen fanny packs. It’s live in over a dozen cities and counting.
🤖 Bot time Grandma got company: South Korea gave 12,000 lonely older adults AI “grandchildren” that talk, glow and remind them to take their meds. The dolls run on ChatGPT and deep cultural guilt. And yes, they’re coming to the U.S. by 2026 for a slice of the global $7.7B (by 2030) eldercare robot market.
🦜 Google trying to eat Duolingo: Google just shoved AI into Translate, adding a language practice mode with listening/speaking drills that adapt to your skill level. It’s basically Duolingo but without the bird threatening your family. Also new: live audio translations in 70+ languages, even in noisy airports. It’s never been a better time to perfect your awkward small talk in French.
💼 Making AI dough: The AI gold rush is minting baby millionaires. Fresh grads are landing $200K+ starting salaries, some under 25 raking in $500K to $1M a year. Yes, you read that right. Companies like Databricks and Scale AI want “AI-natives” so badly they’re poaching PhD students before they even graduate.
Feeling left behind? Download NetSuite’s free knowledge drop, “The CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning.” No matter what you do, you should know more about AI. It’s not going anywhere.
AI went way too far: This is so incredibly sad. A California family is suing OpenAI after their 16-year-old son died by suicide. They say ChatGPT not only discussed methods but helped improve them. The boy had confided in the bot for months. If you have a few minutes, read some of the conversations (paywall link). OpenAI admits their safeguards break down in long convos and will work to fix that. Too late for this family. Talk to yours about this story.
Oh, sheet: Excel’s =COPILOT() feature writes formulas for you. But here’s the catch: Microsoft says it’s not accurate, not reproducible and shouldn’t be used for finances, legal docs or … well, Excel’s entire job that’s continually regressing.
Write an FAQ page with AI: Got an online biz? Let ChatGPT draft your FAQs. Prompt it with: “You’re an e-commerce expert. Write a list of FAQs with simple answers for my [insert product/service] using [insert details]. Cover use, shipping, returns and common concerns.” Now do a quick edit and add anything the bot left out.
🎙️ Finding her voice: I love this. Only eight seconds of fuzzy ’90s home video, that’s all it took for AI to bring back Sarah Ezekiel’s real voice after 25 years with motor neurone disease. Her kids had only ever heard her speak through a robotic voice. Until now. This is what AI gets right. Changing lives in ways we never imagined.
🚨 Follow the money: Big Tech is whining about spending nearly $400B this year building AI, and it’s draining their mountain of cash reserves. Sure, they can afford it, but they’re in the business of making money, not blowing it. So you know what this means? Your next AI chatbot will come with a GPU surcharge.
¿Dónde está mi cerveza? You can now dub your voice with auto lip-synch for reels. Just select Translate your voice with Meta AI before posting. FYI: It currently only works English ↔ Spanish. Oh, and it’s available to all public Instagram accounts, but on Facebook, you’ll need at least 1,000 followers.