AI just roasted your retirement plan
I set up my 401(k) back when I worked for AT&T and truly never looked at it again. I picked a few funds and stocks, hoped for the best and trusted that everything was on track. It worked out for me. But now?
🧬 Pill against aging: Get this, Retro Biosciences, a startup with $180M from Sam Altman, is testing a pill that could fight Alzheimer’s by reviving your body’s recycling system. The first human gets it this year. If it works, they’re thinking 10 more good years tacked onto life.
3,821%
That’s how much Pokémon cards have surged since 2004. For context, the S&P 500 managed a measly 483% in the same stretch. Translation: Pikachu just smoked your retirement account (paywall link). One near-mint Pikachu Illustrator sold for $5.3M, proving that a tiny crease can tank your portfolio faster than a bad earnings call.
🔥 Your new robot intern: So Amazon just handed sellers a robot sidekick. Their updated Seller Assistant actually does stuff for you, like fixing account issues, ordering inventory, even sketching out a business plan. Over a million sellers already use Amazon’s AI to crank out listings, and this upgrade’s free. For now.
LUV hurts: Imagine checking the mail and finding 15 tickets from states you’ve never even driven through. That’s what happened to a California woman with the vanity plate “LUVSICK.” Turns out, a clothing brand was selling fake novelty plates that looked almost identical to hers. She lawyered up and got them pulled offline, but not before fighting every bogus ticket.
💸 Say goodbye to paper checks: Starting Sept. 30, Social Security, veterans benefits and IRS payments will only be sent electronically. Most folks already use direct deposit, but if you’re still getting checks, you’ll need to either open a bank account or request a Treasury-issued debit card by calling 800-967-6857. Don’t wait on this.
AI suicide lawsuit filed: A family is suing Character.AI, saying its chatbot “Hero” acted like a trusted friend to their 13-year-old girl, then failed to intervene when she expressed suicidal thoughts. She died in June after weeks of withdrawing. Her parents say Hero gave emotional support without ever urging her to seek help. Something has to change.
🤖 Dropouts welcome: OpenAI’s launching Grove, a just-hatched accelerator for tech founders who haven’t figured out what they’re building yet. Fifteen people will get to hang around SF HQ, play with new models and maybe become the next billion-dollar AI overlord. Applications are open now, but spots are ultra-limited. I’d do this in a heartbeat.
$20,000
That’s what a contractor in Maine had to pony up for violating a lakeshore ordinance. He says he checked with the town first, but they fined him anyway. His revenge? Paying the entire thing in coins, 12,000 pounds worth. Now the town’s thinking of charging him a handling fee to count it. Ever heard of Coinstar, guys?