Apple hyped its new AI as a game-changer. Now the rollout’s delayed and the competition’s pulling ahead.
CarPlay gets a glow-up: Apple just launched CarPlay Ultra, starting with Aston Martins in the U.S. and Canada. It’s basically CarPlay on steroids, handling everything from speedometer graphics to climate control. Hyundai, Kia and Genesis are onboard, too, but no dates yet. For now, if you want it, better start browsing those Aston Martin listings.
14 months
How long you’ll sit in prison for faking an ID and hijacking the SEC’s Twitter. Eric Council Jr. SIM swapped his way into the SEC’s X account with a bogus ID, dropped a fake Bitcoin ETF approval tweet and briefly spiked and tanked the Bitcoin price. The feds didn’t LOL. Now he’s got over a year to think about it.
Split screen on iPad: Want two apps open at once? Turn your iPad sideways and open the first app. Tap the three-dot menu at the top and select Split View. The app will move to one side. Swipe up to open the Dock and drag the second app over. Now use the divider to adjust space between them.
🛰️ AI eyes everywhere: The Pentagon’s satellite AI (Project Maven) is now advanced enough to spot sketchy activity before anything even happens. Now under the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, it’s detecting anomalies, like unexpected enemy movements or sudden activity spikes at weapons sites. Your garden gnome? Now classified as a hostile object.
🔘 Car buttons are coming back: Studies show touch screens slow your reaction time more than driving drunk or high. Back in the day, changing a setting took 10 seconds (paywall link). Now with touch screen menus? Try 45. Europe’s stepping in first.
🚨 Urgent recall: Ditch this Igloo cooler if you value your fingertips. Over 130,000 just got recalled after causing 78 injuries, including 26 with fractures or even amputations. The handle can pinch hard when you push it against the cooler. Over a million are now affected, so check here if you own one.
🌴 It’s not just beds anymore: Airbnb just leveled up with its new services live in 260+ cities. The app now offers spa treatments, private chefs, personal trainers and more. Basically, it evolved from “couch in Berlin” to celebrity-led adventures like Megan Thee Stallion’s anime-themed “Otaku Hottie Quest,” whatever that means.
🌀 Selfies, but cinematic: Google’s Gemini AI can now turn a single image into a full five-second video. It’s launching with the Honor 400, which sounds like a hovercar but is actually a smartphone. Finally, your brunch avocado toast can have its own origin story.
🧬 Theranos 2: Elizabeth Holmes’ boyfriend wants $50M for, you guessed it, the same Theranos blood diagnostics idea that sent her to the slammer. Billy Evans, hotel heir and now aspiring blood mogul, just launched the startup. Holmes is advising from prison. Rumor has it the pitch deck just reads: “But this time, it works. Promise. Pinky swear.”
🤖 CRM sentience: Salesforce’s Einstein Copilot just dropped for public beta, and it’s like Clippy got a PhD and an Adderall prescription. It reads your company data, automates tasks and generates content, all without leaking your Q1 projections to Skynet. Also, it’s now called Agentforce, which sounds less friendly and more … ready for war?
😃 “My knees feel so much better in only one month!” That’s what Julie wrote to me since she’s been taking NativePath’s collagen. You ought to try it, too. Go here now to claim your 45% discount, free shipping and a free gift bundle, exclusive for my listeners.
🚔 Modern superhero: Modern Family’s Ariel Winter is now working undercover in child predator stings. Yes, that Ariel. She volunteers with SOSA, posing as teens online to catch creeps in real life. As you can imagine, Ariel describes how emotionally demanding the gig can be.
🤲 Amazon’s touchy new robot: Vulcan has a “sense of touch,” which is either a sci-fi dream or the start of our future metal overlords politely handing us our orders. Amazon swears it’s “not replacing workers,” just lifting the heavy stuff so humans can … watch? For now, it’s just in Spokane, but Germany’s next.
Never lose your phone with this trick
A hidden setting lets someone call you from your locked phone. Set it up now.
Targeted beauty: This is nuts. Facebook allegedly tracked teen girls deleting selfies and waited like an algorithmic vulture to serve them beauty ads at their weakest moment. “This is what puts money in all our pockets,” one exec reportedly said. Emotional damage, now with 20% more ROI.
💬 Wrong number scams: It starts with a random text like “Emily from the gym?” You reply “wrong number.” But instead of leaving you alone, they get friendly, pull on your heartstrings, then pitch an investment scam. Blame AI. It’s now easier to craft messages that feel personal. If you get one, don’t reply. Just block the number.
May 26, 2026
That’s when the Grand Theft Auto VI launch got pushed to. Gamers weren’t the only ones crushed; Wall Street took shotgun on the joyride. The developer’s stock fell 7% on the news. Now basically a full year away, Rockstar Games swears it’ll be worth the wait. (Cue flashbacks to every other delayed launch ever.)
🐓 Cluckin’ wild: The Minecraft movie is meh, but Jack Black’s unhinged chicken ballad, “Steve’s Lava Chicken,” shot up to # 78 on Billboard’s Hot 100. It’s now the shortest song ever to hit the famed list, clocking in at 34 seconds, making it both a record and maybe a cry for help for our attention spans. Listen here, you have been warned.