Witches on the payroll

September 19, 2025

🔮 Witches on the payroll: Before their hot streak, the Mariners were cooked. Then a fan hired SpellByLuna on Etsy to “unf*ck the team.” Now? Nine wins straight and a team-approved witch cameo on X. Players even shouted out the witch. Sports curses? Cliché. Sports spells? Apparently working overtime. I think the witch was from Austin, which makes her a hexin’ Texan.

Tags: Etsy, fan, Now, sports, team

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The airlines sold you out

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About 99% of the internet flows through undersea cables

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I bet you imagine the internet as a magical cloud floating wirelessly between satellites and Wi-Fi routers. Nope. It’s mostly underwater.

Nearly all of your “in the cloud” traffic actually travels through fiber-optic cables laid along the ocean floor. These thin strands of glass are buried in some places and simply resting on the seafloor in others.

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The number of parents needed to make some baby iguanas. A female casque-headed iguana at Exotic Zoo in England just gave birth to eight healthy hatchlings without ever meeting a male. The phenomenon, called parthenogenesis, makes the babies genetic clones of mom, one of the rarest events in the animal kingdom. My bet? A very sneaky male iguana.

⚡️ 3-second tech genius: On YouTube desktop, press 0 on your keyboard to restart a video instantly. Or hit numbers 1 through 9 to jump to that percentage of the playback. Nice.

Your new router might be a waste of money

Midjourney

You’ve probably seen the sales pitches. “Get blazing-fast Wi-Fi 7 with internet speeds like you’ve never seen before. Just $600 for a new state-of-the-art router!” Let me save you money.

Yes, Wi-Fi 7 is fast. Theoretical speeds reach up to 46 Gbps. That’s 46,000 Mbps, compared to Wi-Fi 6, which tops out around 9.6 Gbps (9,600 Mbps). Here’s what that means in real life.

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Identity thieves are coming for your insurance

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I was shocked by this stat the other day. The National Insurance Crime Bureau says identity theft–driven insurance fraud is projected to spike 49% by the end of 2025.

Really, insurance fraud?

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🚗 Make sure your car’s safe: About 1 in 5 cars on the road have an open recall that hasn’t been fixed. Check yours at the NHTSA website by choosing your state and entering your license plate number or VIN. FYI: You can also search recalls for tire brands and car seats.

Over 500 million

That’s how many images have already been edited with Nano Banana. The AI tool is part of Google’s Gemini, which is the #1 iPhone app in the U.S. App Store. The hook? It keeps character likeness and lets you mash multiple pics together, like putting your face into a suit. Try it now on iOS and Android. You can generate or edit up to 100 images per day.

$725 million

That’s the total Facebook is shelling out for its privacy sins. Payouts depend on how long you were active between 2007 to 2022, so your hardcore FarmVille grinding may finally pay off. Don’t expect much, though. Basically, 15 years of oversharing buys you lunch, not a vacation.