3-second tech genius

🤖 Prime and punishment: It’s happening. Amazon is assembling a team, and by team, I mean a robot army. Leaked docs say Amazon’s trying to automate 75% of operations by 2033, which would save them $12.6 billion and skip 600,000 human hires. They’re even rebranding robots as “cobots” to avoid the A-word (automation) and soften the blow.

🔑 Bet you never tried this! So a Montana woman’s car key stopped working, battery fine, dealership stumped. She asked ChatGPT, which told her to hold the fob under her chin. Yes, really. She did, and her truck unlocked instantly. Turns out your body’s 60% water, and radio waves love that. Congratulations, you’re part car antenna.

Want to be a “breaking news” anchor? The Citizen safety app announced it’ll pay you, up to $400, to livestream nearby emergencies. Fires, crimes, chaos? Grab your phone and hit “Go Live.” Along with pushing real-time alerts, the app is basically turning users into freelance local news crews. No word yet on how to sign up. 

🔢 The great “six seven” uprising: Middle schoolers are possessed by a two-number demon. Say “six seven,” and the room explodes (paywall link). Kids shriek, wave their hands, total meltdown. It started as a TikTok meme tied to rapper Skrilla’s song “Doot Doot (6 7),” and now teachers avoid even saying the numbers, though they must be happy it’s not 69.

Know the best times to post: On LinkedIn, you want to post Tuesday through Thursday between 8 a.m. and 11 a.m., when people are active but not overwhelmed. Avoid late nights, weekends and Friday afternoons. Your post deserves better than getting buried in scroll fatigue. You can post a job for free using this link.  

👁️ Bionic book buddies: Get this, a paper-thin electronic implant is helping people with macular degeneration see again. It’s called the Prima implant, and they tuck it under your retina, then pair it with fancy AR glasses that beam images straight to your brain. The sight of 84% of people was restored after being fitted with the device. Wild. Blink to accept terms and conditions.

Sky’s getting crowded: SpaceX has launched over 10,000 Starlink satellites, and Elon’s only a third of the way done. Around 8,600 are still in orbit, beaming internet from space while the rest burn up in the atmosphere. Good news for internet in the sticks, but terrible for astronomers.

🚔 Porchlight confidential: It’s gotten easier for over 5,000 police departments to request your Amazon Ring doorbell footage. It’s “voluntary,” but yeah, expect more “Hey, neighbor, mind if we peek at your porch?” alerts. Btw, your Ring doorbell isn’t limited to recording a little area. Depending on the model, it can capture about 155° to 160° horizontally and up to 90° vertically. That means the camera sees a big chunk of your porch, sidewalk and part of the street. Welcome to suburbia, surveillance edition.