Sam Altman who created ChatGPT now wants to scan your eyeballs with a glowing bowling ball to prove you’re human online, and he made a jingle about it. Seriously. I told you all about it back on May 6. Orb just dropped its first U.S. ad campaign. It’s basically the “If You’re Happy and You Know It” of human verification. It feels like a TSA PreCheck for whatever weird world we’re heading into. It already has 13 million verified humans across 20+ countries, with goals to hit 50 million by the end of 2025. Not me.
✈️ Board to be wild: “Airport theory” videos on TikTok dare you to show up 15 minutes before boarding. Maybe you’ll get lucky with TSA PreCheck or a delay, but odds are you’re dropping $400 on a rebook and crying at a Holiday Inn. Most clips are staged. Real advice? Two hours domestic, three for international.
🪞 Give TSA a nice big smile: Actually, don’t. TSA’s new Touchless ID scans your face instead of your ID at PreCheck lanes. The perks? Faster lines. Currently live in 15 airports, four airlines and maybe every dystopian novel you’ve read. TSA says the pics self-destruct in 24 hours, but Congress is eyeing a law to stop your face from being their favorite souvenir.