Crypto CEO sentenced

The cost of the Cadillac Celestiq planned for production this year. GM is only making 25 of them. Who’d spend that kind of money on this awful-looking Cadillac? Speaking of … How do you get your Cadillac to the 2nd level of a mall? You use the Escalader. 

That’s how much longer mice lived after a single dose of a protein called Klotho. They also aged better, with stronger muscles, denser bones and sharper brains. Human trials are still a ways off, but if it translates, we’re talking 16 extra years. Basically, it’s the closest thing to a youth potion in a syringe.

Has already been bet on one unregulated site over who’ll become the next pope. Gambling on religious events is banned in Italy, so locals are placing $20 pizza bets instead. As for front-runners? Cardinals Parolin and Tagle. Because nothing says divine intervention like odds-making and mozzarella

Took on the Atlanta Marathon, with some hoping to punch their ticket to Boston. But the course came up 554 feet short. Yep, someone goofed the route. That teensy error threw off finish times by up to 87 seconds, making them invalid for qualifying. So yeah, months of training … down the drain. Race organizers, you had one job.

The salary offer a high school junior has already locked in for after graduation. Elijah Rios isn’t heading to college. He’s heading to the welding shop (paywall link). In a world where internships are unpaid and “entry-level” means three years of experience, Rios’ gig, $24 an hour with overtime, a 401(k) and benefits, feels like spotting a unicorn. 

How long Utah’s been crowned Best State in America by U.S. News. From Footloose punch line to economic powerhouse, Utah’s glow-up is the stuff of chamber-of-commerce dreams. It’s got a booming tech sector, top-tier math scores and a 6% smoking rate; Utah is basically a straight-A student in a startup hoodie.