$40 billion

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📎 Clippy’s cursed reboot: Microsoft dropped “365 companions,” mini-apps that haunt your task bar like friendly ghosts of productivity. They do just enough (search files, poke calendars, hover over your contacts) to pretend they’re helpful. 

NYC’s newest side hustle: Gotta give it up to ingenuity! A woman’s making cash “car-sitting” so folks don’t get street-cleaning tickets. In New York, if you don’t move your car, you get fined. Her gig? You stay at work while she chills in your ride until the sweeper passes. Beats paying the $65 ticket.

🕵️ The app store’s worst roommate: Cybercrime crew VexTrio Viper has been publishing fake VPNs, RAM cleaners and dating apps in official stores, pulling millions into their ad-and-scam trap since 2015. That store badge? Just lipstick on a hacker pig. Treat the app store like a public bathroom: Use it, but don’t touch anything without checking first.

On a wing and a snack: This is the start of something huge! Auntie Anne’s, Jamba and Schlotzsky’s are going airborne. DoorDash and Alphabet-owned Wing are piloting drone delivery in three Texas cities, promising pretzels and smoothies in just under three minutes, if you live within 4 miles. And get this. Delivery costs only $3.99. The mall food court just learned to fly. 

🌀 Grift of gab: An AI deepfake of their grandson’s voice convinced an 83-year-old Pennsylvania woman and her husband to hand over $18K in cash. Scammers even used rideshare drivers to ferry them to the bank, twice. Police have the footage, but the cash is gone. Family code words could’ve saved them. 

📅 Hookups now have time stamps: College students at schools like Cornell, USC, Duke and UC Berkeley are scheduling everything via Google Calendar. I mean every single thing such as crying, dates, teeth-brushing, you name it. Seriously. GCal is a second brain, and spontaneity is dead. Imagine missing your scheduled breakdown because of a time zone error.

Earhart on Google Earth? British pilot Justin Myers says he’s “99% sure” he’s found Amelia Earhart’s missing plane off Nikumaroro Island, using only Google Earth images. The shapes match her Lockheed Electra’s dimensions. Nobody’s funding his dive yet, but a rival November expedition might beat him to it. Historic aviation meets the “zoom in and squint” method.