The gardener wet his plants.
🌸 Tomorrow’s the first day of spring! Time to kick off your cleaning.
- Fix those little “oops” moments on your walls with a handy repair pen (17% off).
- From your floors to ceiling fans, this six-piece washable duster does it all.
- Steam your way to spotless surfaces with a multi-surface steamer (22% off).
- For tight spots, this three-pack of crevice-cleaning brushes (50% off) has you covered.
- Skip the car wash (Go ahead, sing it out loud!). Just attach a foam gun (20%) to your garden hose and let it shine.
📱 Ring, ring: Got a smudgy phone screen? This spray and wipe kit (23% off) will leave it looking crystal clear.
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✅ From Ed in Florida: “Kim, I want to get away from Google. If I sign up for StartMail, will it import all my email and contacts?” Yup. You can transfer your entire mailbox, including messages and contacts, with zero downtime and 100% security. So easy! Save 60% with my special link.
TikTok on the clock: The latest plan to save TikTok by April 5 comes with a big catch (paywall link). Oracle is the front-runner, but it will only take a small stake to look after your data. The app’s algorithm? Surprise, surprise, China will still control it. The algorithm is what makes TikTok tick.
Malware alert: Skip the free file converters. You know those handy PDF-to-DOC or WebP-to-JPEG tools? Hackers are stuffing them with malware to steal your personal and financial info. They’re showing up in search results and ads. Play it safe: Stick to Adobe Acrobat or Microsoft Office instead.
📺 The real “Lumon”: Watch Severance? Companies that share their name with the fictional Lumon Industries from the Apple TV+ show are getting tons of comments from fans online. Lumen Technologies and Lumon Dental are leaning into it. But a glazing biz didn’t find it funny when asked why they treat workers poorly. It’s a fake TV show, people.
This is Siri-ous: Apple said Siri’s new AI features were just “taking longer than expected.” Turns out, it’s much worse. In a leaked Apple meeting, a senior director admitted they’re only aiming to get some of those features into iOS 19 this year but even that’s not guaranteed. Yikes.
💔 “Half-swiping” breaking teen hearts: It’s the ultimate Snapchat microghosting (paywall link) move, letting someone read a message without marking it as read. Just swipe on a message without lifting your finger. Want to catch them in the act? Snapchat+ ($4/month) adds an “eyes” emoji when they’re doing it.
Useless $2,000 soundbar: This is big. Turn off automatic updates now if you have Samsung’s flagship HW-Q990D Dolby Atmos soundbar. A recent update just bricked them all over the world — no sound output and unresponsive. The HW-Q800D and HW-S801D models have had similar issues. What a mess.
Google’s new AI model is a copyright nightmare: People are using it to remove watermarks from images so cleanly that it fills in the gaps like magic. It can also generate images of celebrities and well-known characters. Like this one of Elon Musk chilling at some random guy’s desk.