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June 29, 2025

🛠️ Hacker turned pitch guy: A Missouri man hacked a gym, dropped his membership to $1 and emailed the owner, offering “cybersecurity consulting” after proving he broke in. He also posted their camera feed on social. Not the sharpest guy. He now has plenty of time to work out in prison.

AI’s voice is yours now: This is wild. People are starting to speak like AI, even when they don’t realize it. Words like “delve” and “meticulous” have surged in usage post-ChatGPT, and researchers say this is just the beginning. Our speech is getting more structured, polished and kinda robotic.

🍑 Corporate glutes in crisis: TikTok has declared war on “office chair butt,” the slow flattening of your glutes from too much sitting. The formal diagnosis? Gluteal muscle group atrophy. Symptoms include sagging cheeks, back pain and a general vibe of “my body quit.” Now people are squatting between Zooms and lifting water jugs like resistance bands.

🍏 Apple owes you? Hurry up, sweet cakes. You’ve got until July 2 to claim your share of a $95 million settlement over Siri snooping accusations. If you owned a Siri device between 9/17/2014 and 12/31/2024, you could get up to $20 per device (max five). Look for an email titled “Lopez Voice Assistant Class Action Settlement” to submit a claim. Didn’t get one? Click New Claim. I’m getting $100.

🤔 AI’s dumbing us down: A study found that students using ChatGPT to write SAT essays showed lower brain activity and focus compared to those who didn’t. Over four months, they went from asking for some help to copy-pasting entire sections. Maybe the future shown in WALL-E isn’t that far off.

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👀 A note about Google watching your texts: I told you about this yesterday, and the link worked for some people but not all. It’s surprisingly tricky to turn off Google’s Gemini AI text tracking. You’ve gotta manually yank its permissions. Think of it like breaking up with a clingy ex who still has a key. Head to gemini.google.com/apps and toggle the switch off for Phone, Messages, WhatsApp, etc. These might not pop up on your end, yet, but anticipate a rollout sometime before July 7.

200 eggs

That’s how many new mozzies a single female mosquito can whip up in a puddle. One inch of water, one day, and boom, you’ve got a bloodthirsty startup. Time to dump those flowerpot saucers and treat your birdbath like each drop raises your tax bracket.

👍 Don’t wait until it’s too late: I’ve said it for years, viruses attack fast. That’s why I trust TotalAV. Rock-solid protection on up to 5 devices. Only $19 for the first year. Smart, simple, and it works!

Fashion forward AI: Google’s new app Doppl lets you upload a body pic and then deepfakes you into different outfits. It also makes videos, in case you needed CGI proof that you can’t pull off cargo pants.

💻 RIP, blue screen of death: After nearly 40 years, Windows is ditching the classic BSOD error message. You know, the one with the frowning face and QR code? It’s being replaced with a black screen that shows the stop code and the system driver that caused the crash. The update rolls out later this summer.

1.6 million

Americans living with type 1 diabetes who just got a sliver of hope. Ten people (out of 12 in trials) are now insulin-free thanks to a single infusion from a new drug. If you’re still waiting for your miracle, science is catching up.

🚚 Amazon’s getting faster: Same or next-day delivery is coming to over 4,000 small towns and cities by the end of the year. It’s part of a $4 billion plan to triple the size of the company’s rural network. Bonus: Prime Day runs July 8 to 11. Click here to snag early deals.

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AT&T’s $5K oops: Did your call logs hit the dark web? You might get paid for it. AT&T agreed to shell out $177M over two juicy data breaches, one from 2019, the other from 2024. You could snag up to $5K, but you’ve gotta prove actual losses. Notifications begin Aug. 4.

🧠 Viral trend, real brain damage: Talk to your kids about TikTok’s risky new “Dusting Challenge.” This brain stunt features teens inhaling computer duster spray for what they think is a quick high. What they’re actually getting: seizures, suffocation and possible brain damage.

Less than 20 years

How long most film execs think the “traditional” cinema experience has left. With streaming taking over, the old model isn’t pulling in profits like it used to. My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films. He forgot to show Up.