Wi-Fi slow? It’s probably this
You pay for high-speed internet, but your current connection is slower than your mom who took nine months to come up with a good joke. Something’s off, and no, it’s not Mercury in retrograde (this time).
Enter: DNS.
“KYS” isn’t harmless teen slang: Parents, you might see “kys” or “keys” online and think it’s just another TikTok-ified acronym. But it’s actually short for “kill yourself,” and it’s alarmingly common in teen comment sections and DMs. Some teens use it jokingly (🤨), but it can land with real emotional weight.
$100
That’s how much people are allegedly paying for six ice cubes from Greenland. Greenland entrepreneurs are harvesting 100,000-year-old glacial ice (paywall link) and shipping it to Dubai, where it’s sold in cocktails like the $218 Scotch-on-ice at Nahaté. Talk about an ICE detention center.
🍎 Bad apples: Apple just got a reality check from the National Advertising Division, which told them to cut it with the “available now” marketing for Apple Intelligence. Most of the shiny AI features they hyped aren’t ready. Apple Intelligence is like that friend who says, “I’m on my way” while still in the shower.
Max is cracking down on password sharing: If you’re letting someone outside your house use your account, you’ll have to pay up. The new Extra Member Add-On is $7.99 a month and lets one person have their own profile under your plan. Not ideal, but still cheaper than a full $9.99 subscription. Next up: HBO Max charges you per emotion felt.
🎬 Insta edits drops: Meta just launched Edits, a new free video editor app to compete with TikTok’s CapCut. It includes AI tools like “Cutouts” and “Animate,” and exports without a vibe-killing watermark. Finally, an easier way to spend three hours editing a video that gets 11 likes and a passive-aggressive DM from your aunt.
1 terabit per second
Of data was sent over 750 miles using optical fiber. For context, that’s like streaming around 40 Netflix shows in Ultra-HD at the same time. The real twist? Researchers did it completely securely. How? They built a new “IEAC” system that hides the encryption inside the light signal itself. Pretty genius.
Scam on the line: Phone buzzing with job offers? You’re not alone. Fake posts scammed folks out of $61 million last year, up from $14.8 million in 2023. When money’s tight, scammers know you might take a job you’d usually think twice about. Jobs where the CEO’s email ends in .biz.ru? Pass.
🤠 I’m trapped in a Waymo in Texas: No, it’s not the latest country music hit. Two women were stuck in a Waymo in Austin. The doors wouldn’t unlock but did open after they threatened to go live on TikTok. Waymo says they hit the “pull over” button. Nothing like threatening a viral video to make a robot say “my bad” and let you out.
3,000 years old
The age of a mummified crocodile scientists recently cracked open. They used X-ray and CT scans to peek inside and found gastroliths, aka small stones crocs swallow to help with digestion. Even weirder? They also discovered a fish and a bronze hook, still intact, meaning the croc was probably caught right before it was sacrificed.