Beware the Wi-Fi Pineapple trick

🛠️ Hood’s up, scam’s on: Scammers are showing up to buy your car and sabotaging it mid-sale. They’re pouring oil into the coolant to fake engine issues, then trying to lowball you into selling the vehicle cheap. Even if you don’t fall for it, you’re stuck with a mess and a repair bill. 

How long you’ll sit in prison for faking an ID and hijacking the SEC’s Twitter. Eric Council Jr. SIM swapped his way into the SEC’s X account with a bogus ID, dropped a fake Bitcoin ETF approval tweet and briefly spiked and tanked the Bitcoin price. The feds didn’t LOL. Now he’s got over a year to think about it.

JPMorgan flip-flops: CEO Jamie Dimon still hates crypto, but now JPMorgan’s letting clients buy it. You won’t get custody or a warm hug … just ETFs on your monthly statement. Think of it as cold, regulatory-compliant enthusiasm. He’s basically telling you, “Don’t vape, but if you must, do it through your investment account.”

👁️ New Orleans secret surveillance: For two years, police used facial recognition to track people in real time. They tapped into a private network of cameras to scan crowds for anyone on a wanted list and sent alerts to officers. The twist? It might not have been legal. The program’s now paused (paywall link).

That’s how many satellites China wants in its new orbiting AI supercomputer. It’s called the “Three-Body Computing Constellation,” and they’ve already launched 12. Each satellite runs its own 8 billion parameter AI model and talks to the others at up to 100 Gbps (with lasers, obviously). The goal is basically turning space into one giant neural net.

🚨 Update Chrome ASAP: Google dropped an emergency patch to fix a flaw that could let hackers take over your accounts. Don’t wait. Go to Settings > About Chrome and make sure you’re up to date. Windows and Linux should be on version 136.0.7103.113. macOS should be on 136.0.7103.114.

Take It Down Act: President Trump just signed a law making it a crime to post someone’s intimate images without their consent, even if they’re AI deepfakes. It’s serious stuff. You could face up to three years in prison, plus fines. Platforms have 48 hours to take down reported content and scrub any copies.

That’s how long a Lufthansa flight cruised without a pilot. The copilot passed out mid-flight while flying solo, because the captain was on a bathroom break. Autopilot kept things chill, but it took five unanswered chimes, an emergency code and some serious heart rate spikes before the captain could break back in and take over.

🔍 Google I/O announcements: I wasn’t overly impressed. Search is getting an AI Mode tab so you can use Gemini to browse the web. Why? Google Meet will add real-time speech translation. Finally. Gmail will dig through your inbox to suggest replies that sound more like you. Helpful, maybe. And for shopping? Upload a full-length photo and virtually try on outfits. And Google gets more data points on you to sell.

🚨 Deliverability: Noun. The likelihood that an email will successfully land in your inbox instead of being exiled to the deadly spam folder. I switched ESPs (email service providers), and I need your help. Reply, forward or rate the newsletter at the end, so Big Tech and your email provider know you want my free newsletter. This way, I’ll stick around like guac on a chip.