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May 20, 2025

🧬 Bankrupt 23andMe just got bought: Regeneron is scooping it up for $256 million. Who’s that? A biotech company big on cancer and disease research. So yep, they’ll now have access to all that juicy genetic data. They say they’ll honor current privacy rules. Sure.

Meta’s scam spiral: Facebook and Instagram reportedly ran God only knows how many shady ads tied to scams from fake food giveaways to nonexistent golden retrievers. Internal docs say the company avoided cracking down to keep the $$$ flowing. JPMorgan says half of Zelle scam complaints lead straight back to Meta. Turns out “move fast and break things” meant “let’s break trust.”

🤖 Gemini gets beefy: At tomorrow’s Google I/O conference, I expect to see the next-gen Gemini Ultra and two heavier subscription tiers. Also coming: AI agents that browse the web for you (finally someone to blame for your weird search history), shelf-worthy Android tweaks and some spicy fake podcast upgrades. Also on deck: XR smart glasses collab with Samsung.

T-Mobile payout: Remember the 2021 data breach that exposed info from 76 million people? A class action lawsuit followed, and T-Mobile agreed to a $350 million settlement. Good news: Checks are going out this month. If you were part of the lawsuit, you could get back your losses or a flat payment of $25. Nothing says I’m sorry like a Chipotle bowl and a bottle of CVS wine.

⚡ Dodge ditches the Charger Daytona: The EV base model flopped so hard they sold less than 2,000 of ’em in the first few months of the year. But don’t worry, you can still pick up the Scat Pack version if you’ve got $73,985 lying around. Gas-powered Chargers are coming soon.

YouTube ads are getting tricky: They’re testing an AI tool called Peak Points that finds the precise moments when viewers are most engaged in a video. Then it drops ads right after. The goal? Help advertisers catch you when you’re paying attention and more likely to click. Kill it with fire.

🚨 Deliverability: Noun. The likelihood that an email will successfully land in your inbox instead of being exiled to the deadly spam folder. I switched ESPs (email service providers), and I need your help. Reply, forward or rate the newsletter at the end, so Big Tech and your email provider know you want my free newsletter. This way, I’ll stick around like guac on a chip.

😑 Feeling left behind? Download NetSuite’s free “CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning.” No matter what you do, you should know more about AI. It’s not going anywhere.

1 year later

People are still complaining about the Apple Vision Pro. At $3,500, you’d expect comfort, but many can’t wear it for more than 20 minutes without neck pain. It’s not just the hardware either. There are still barely any apps, and the resale value stinks. One guy got $1,900 (paywall link), and that’s considered a win.

📡 5G conspiracy theory debunked: Remember the 2019 rumors saying 5G could damage your cells or cause spooky side effects? Well, researchers found the signals only penetrate your skin by less than 1 millimeter (or 0.04 inches if you’re like me and slowly inching toward the metric system). Even at frequencies 10 times what’s considered safe, there’s still no impact on your health. It was all fearmongering.

AI took his six figs: A senior software engineer went from a $150K salary to DoorDashing after AI made his skills obsolete. He’s applied to 800 jobs, been rejected by most and now lives in a trailer, while AI interviews other devs. Coding may still be hot, just not for humans with rent.

🧟‍♂️ No face? No problem: AI’s tracking you anyway. A startup called Veritone made an AI that ditches facial recognition and still tracks you in video footage, just by how you walk and what you’re wearing. It’s already being used by cops and government agencies. The tech is legal, terrifying and possibly the start of your new fashion surveillance arc.

$50 an hour

What Meta’s offering people to record their smiles, small talk and movements. It’s part of Project Warhol, a push to build super-realistic digital avatars. One day, your 3D clone could pop into VR meetings or games. The catch? You’ve got to be 18+ and head to their Pittsburgh lab starting in September.

Can ChatGPT guess your age? Sort of. Sam Altman says there’s a pattern in how different age groups interact with the bot. People in their 20s and 30s often ask for life advice, while college students treat it like an all-in-one assistant. As for anyone over 45? It’s a Google replacement to ask questions.

CarPlay gets a glow-up: Apple just launched CarPlay Ultra, starting with Aston Martins in the U.S. and Canada. It’s basically CarPlay on steroids, handling everything from speedometer graphics to climate control. Hyundai, Kia and Genesis are onboard, too, but no dates yet. For now, if you want it, better start browsing those Aston Martin listings.

🚨 Listen up: The FBI says scammers are now using deepfake audio to impersonate government officials. They clone voices that sound shockingly real to trick you into sending money or giving up personal info. Bottom line? If something feels off, hang up.

About 20,000

That’s how many times you breathe each day. Slower, more controlled breathing can help your heart, boost brain power and calm your anxiety (paywall link). Try the coherent technique: Inhale through your nose for six seconds, then exhale for six.