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That’s how fast your online order could arrive, courtesy of USPS’s quiet glow-up. They’ve ditched the snail jokes and entered the express lane with Priority Mail Next Day to compete with FedEx, UPS and Amazon. It’s currently live in 62 markets and delivers packages under 20 pounds within one day, as long as they’re dropped off by 6 p.m.
Tags: Amazon, jokes, Mail, online, packages
It’s been almost two years since the tragedy that killed all five onboard. Now, investigators are revealing some chilling finds from the ocean floor. In a new documentary, they say they found part of the OceanGate founder’s sleeve, with a pen, business cards and Titanic stickers still inside. So sad.
Walt Disney lives again? Kinda. He’s being turned into a lifelike robot for Disney parks, so guests can see what it might’ve been like to meet him. It’ll look like him at age 62 and use real lines from his speeches. The twist? His granddaughter says he would never want this.
🧬 Silicon Valley’s baby fever: Welcome to the Build-a-Baby boom. Startups like Orchid and Nucleus want to sell you on polygenic testing: basically “future-proofing” your baby’s DNA for everything from BMI to bipolar disorder. The cost? $50,000.
TSA’s planning touchless pat-downs: Yep, they’re working on VR tech that lets agents “feel” you without any actual contact. How? Sensors scan your body shape, then send the data to haptic gloves, creating a virtual version of your contours. And don’t you know all that is going into some database? Speaking of … Did you know that the TSA likes to hire dentists as supervisors? They are already experts in performing cavity searches.
🚨 AT&T data leak: Hackers just exposed 86 million customer records, including names, phone numbers, emails and addresses. Worse? Nearly 44 million Social Security numbers were leaked in plain text. That’s prime info for scammers and identity theft. PSA: Stay alert for phishing attempts and keep a close eye on your accounts, folks.
Lot cop unleashed: Walmart’s testing a security robot in its parking lots. It has wheels, cameras and apparently a dude behind the mic, whispering “Yo, what you say?” to shoppers. Is it surveillance? Art? Cyberpunk cosplay? Either way, the vibes are dystopian. Next up: R2-D2 with a gun.
📅 RIP, Samsung accounts: Samsung says inactive accounts will get deleted starting July 31. If you haven’t logged in for two years, it’s over: data gone, account gone, possibly your Galaxy brain, too. Exceptions made if you bought something or used reward points. Congrats on ghosting Samsung so hard they took it personally.
The pirate said, “Can I buy an I?”: Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune are hitting streaming for the first time, just one day after episodes air. Hulu and Peacock snagged multiyear deals for new and old episodes. Sony and CBS are still in a legal slap fight about it, but the real winner here is your Roku.
🪥 No floss can fix stupid: A top U.S. dental marketing firm accidentally exposed 8.8 million appointment records and 2.7 million patient profiles online: names, emails, birth dates, billing info, all just sitting in the open. Hackers didn’t even have to lift a finger. Be sure to keep an eye on your Explanation of Benefit records.
🤖 Humanoids at your doorstep: Amazon’s testing humanoid robots that might literally leap out of delivery vans. The company’s building a “humanoid park” to train these robot couriers to drop packages while dodging pets, toddlers and possibly your Ring camera judgment. Humans may still drive the vans, for now.