She kept getting iPhone alerts. Turns out her ex hid four AirTags in her car. Also, a listener calls in with a question about using AI to write legal documents for his real estate biz. Then I dig into Apple’s $3,500 flop, why Tesla truck drivers say they’re getting harassed on the road, and the brutal new work culture taking over startups.
🧠 Drive to text: Elon Musk says Tesla may soon let you text while driving, because the self-driving is getting that good. “That’s what people already do,” he told shareholders. Well, he’s not wrong, but don’t text behind the wheel. Though the law still says keep your eyes on the road, Elon’s betting the tech will do fine without you. Yeah, much like the Tesla’s full self-driving mode that has killed people.
More than 80%
That was Tesla’s share of the U.S. EV market back in the day. They’re down to just 38% of sales, the lowest since 2017. Why? While other automakers pump out shiny new EVs, Tesla’s busy dreaming about robotaxis and humanoid robots. Their last “new” model was the Cybertruck in 2023.
Tesla’s talkative AI: A California mom says her Tesla’s new AI car assistant, Grok, went wildly off-script, telling her 12-year-old son to “send nudes” mid-chat about soccer. It happened with her three kids in the car, after her son switched Grok’s voice to a “lazy male” mode called “Gork.” Tesla rolled out the feature this summer but hasn’t addressed how this slipped through.
🛞 Altman’s $50K ghost car: Ever order something that took too long to ship? Sam Altman’s been waiting 7.5 years for his Tesla Roadster. This week, he finally asked for his $50,000 deposit back, and Tesla’s email bounced. Really. The car? Still MIA. The refund? Also MIA. The drama? Very much alive. I’d say it’s like pouring gas on the Musk-Altman beef, except, you know, it’s electric.
Autopilot brain: An Illinois Tesla driver blamed Autopilot after rear-ending a parked police cruiser, because of course they did. The guy admitted he was asleep while the car “drove itself.” Nobody was seriously hurt, but the police (and reality) reminded everyone that Autopilot isn’t “nap mode.” If your wake-up alarm is a cop siren, you might be doing the whole car thing wrong.
🛞 Mad Max meets Model 3: Tesla dropped two new “self-driving” modes: Sloth (grandpa speed) and Mad Max (the one your insurance hates). No confirmed speeds yet, but “Mad Max” mode is made to accelerate and swerve through traffic “like a sports car.” The feds opened a preliminary investigation, I wonder why? Coming soon: Mario Kart Mode, bananas sold separately.
Owning a Tesla isn't for the weak
Cursed at, yelled at, spit at. Tesla owners say it’s like driving a roving political sign. Here’s the scoop.
Tesla’s self-driving mode under fire
Federal investigators are looking into crashes, fires, and injuries linked to Tesla’s self-driving feature. Experts say it’s another reminder not to trust it with your safety.
🚪 Trapped in a Cybertruck: Tesla’s being sued after a 19-year-old died when a Cybertruck hit a tree and caught fire last November in California. The family says the vehicle’s sleek electric doors locked passengers inside, leaving no way out. Only one of four survived. The lawsuit claims Krysta Tsukahara didn’t die on impact, she died trapped by Tesla’s design. How awful.
Goodbye glass dashboards
After years of forcing us to fumble with glossy touch screens, carmakers are finally listening. Mercedes, Volkswagen, Tesla, and more are bringing back buttons and knobs in 2026 models so drivers can keep their eyes on the road instead of the dashboard.
🥕 Musk’s trillion-dollar carrot: Tesla’s board dangled a “bribe Dad to stay home” pay package that could make Elon Musk the world’s first trillionaire, but only if Tesla’s value jumps from $1.1T to a wild $8.5T. If it works, he pockets 423M shares worth $143B today, plus keeps steering Tesla into robotaxis and humanoid robots.
⚡ Classic cars get plugged in: Imagine your busted Land Rover or the Ferrari 308 from Magnum, P.I., now whisper-quiet as a Tesla. U.K.’s Electric Classic Cars has converted 100+ classics since 2015, swapping gas engines for battery packs without chopping up the vintage shells. Conversions start around $57K, but wild custom builds climb past $190K. I don’t know, I love the roar of my ’67 Corvette that was actually in the movie Con Air.
👨🏻⚖️ Tesla said, “No data here” … Oopsie: Tesla told a jury there was absolutely no data showing what happened in a 2019 Autopilot crash that killed 22-year-old Naibel Benavides Leon and left her boyfriend, Dillon Angulo, seriously injured. Then a hacker in a Starbucks found the so-called “missing” evidence, and it was game over. The jury hit Tesla with a $243 million verdict.
⚙️ Uninsurable metal box: Tesla’s stainless steel Cybertruck is apparently too weird to insure. Geico and Hanover are pulling out, citing plummeting sales (just 4,306 sold last quarter) and high repair costs. The truck’s low production and high drama have made it a financial Bermuda Triangle.
$30,000
Ford’s entry ticket to the electric pickup game. That’s the starting price for its new midsize EV truck, about the same as a Toyota RAV4 but with more space, a frunk and zero trips to the gas pump. The plan? Make owning one cheaper over five years than driving a used Tesla Model Y.
Tesla pulls the plug: If this is true, it’s crazy. Rapper Big Huey says his Cybertruck got remotely shut off after he released his song “Cybertruck.” He even claims Tesla mailed him a cease-and-desist. That’s one way to take “don’t kill my vibe” very literally. Next up: Spotify turns off your fridge for skipping Ed Sheeran too much.
2
That’s how many Cybertrucks the U.S. Air Force is buying just to blow up. They’re headed to White Sands Missile Range, where the military wants to test how Tesla’s angular apocalypse-mobile holds up to precision-guided munitions.
$243 million
What a jury told Tesla to cough up over a fatal Autopilot crash. That includes $200M in punitive damages, aka “don’t do that again” money. The crash killed a young woman and injured her boyfriend. Autopilot was engaged, the driver was distracted, and the jury decided both were to blame, not equally.
New Tesla diner sparks backlash
Tesla’s new futuristic diner promises food and fast charging. For nearby residents, it’s a neon nightmare that never sleeps.