The bots are coming for your 401(k)

One question I get all the time is, “Kim, can AI help me pick stocks?” 

Spoiler: Not only can it help, it might do a better job than a guy in a Patagonia vest yelling about yield curves.

A finance professor from Canada tested the stock-picking skills of ChatGPT, Elon Musk’s Grok and communist China’s DeepSeek. Each AI was fed the same market conditions and prompts and asked to build a stock portfolio.

Then he compared those AI-created portfolios to real-world funds managed by professionals. Yup, the ones who get paid big bucks to grow your money.

🏆 These AI tools didn’t just do OK 

They beat the pros. And not just once. Over the course of several trials, AI regularly outperformed human-managed funds.

That doesn’t mean it’s time to fire your financial adviser, but it does mean we’re entering a new phase in how we invest. AI isn’t just for emails and generating recipes anymore. It’s parsing financial data, reading between the lines of earnings calls and spotting trends most people overlook.

If you don’t know what you’re doing, you could just as easily get bad advice, or worse, convince yourself it’s genius guidance because it came from a robot.

💬 3 smart prompts to try

Want to experiment with ChatGPT, Claude, Grok or another AI model? 

1. “Act as a financial adviser for a [your age goes here]-year-old investor saving for retirement. Recommend a diversified stock portfolio with U.S. and international exposure, moderate risk tolerance and a 10-year horizon. Explain why each stock was selected using current market data.”

2. “You are a stock analyst. Compare the investment potential of [list the companies here] using the latest earnings reports, P/E ratios, market trends and analyst sentiment. Summarize the pros and cons of each.”

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AI bots make bets on the next pope

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Who will lead the Catholic Church next? ChatGPT, Gemini, and Grok all have guesses — but they can’t seem to agree.

🤖 Grok just keeps Grokking: Elon’s chatbot went rogue, quoting Hitler and calling itself “MechaHitler.” xAI blamed a system prompt. Days later? Boom, Grok 4 launches with a $300/month “SuperGrok Heavy” tier. It allegedly doubled OpenAI’s top model score. “Terrifying rate of progress” sounds less cool when your bot’s quoting Mein Kampf.