👽 Convenient cover-up? A lot of folks are mistaking Starlink Internet satellites for unexplained anomalous phenomena (UAPs), the new term for UFOs. Starlink’s 6,600 satellites move across the sky in trains and look like gleaming gems, so they’re easy to spot for the naked eye. Of course, some think the government found the ultimate excuse for — dun, dun, dun! — alien sightings!
Zero, zip, zilch, nada
Aliens out there thinking about invading Earth. Elon Musk says UFO sightings are government weapons programs — for instance, the 1950s flying saucers were really advanced U.S. spy planes. SpaceX has thousands of satellites in orbit and has never encountered an alien spacecraft.
👽 “We are not alone”: So say some former government and military officials, who testified to Congress about UFOs in November 2024. One Navy rear admiral says he saw a video of a flying object that was more advanced than anything in our military. The Pentagon insists there’s no proof UFOs are alien spacecraft. In the words of Robin Williams, “If aliens are watching us, they probably think dogs are in charge and we’re their pets. They’re like, ‘Why else would humans pick up their poop?’”
👽 Hold onto your tinfoil hat: The Pentagon’s former chief investigator leaked a new government program to scoop up alien tech if it’s ever shot down. He swears there’s zero evidence of alien spacecraft so far. Meanwhile, a UFO analyst and a missile expert both claim that not only has the U.S. recovered a craft, but they’ve even been inside one.