Ask Kim: 'Help! My brother-in-law is spying on us'

Dear Kim,

My brother-in-law has our family cottage wired with a Ring security system. He is not to be trusted as he has been unfaithful to his wife and she has filed for divorce. My family is very suspicious that we are being watched or listened to all the time. 

The cottage belongs to three families, and we don’t feel comfortable talking inside or outside. I know the Ring system can record — my brother-in-law is a software engineer and this is his hobby … Creepy AF. What should we do?

— Sonia in Indianapolis, Indiana

Dear Sonia,

Before we get into the tech weeds on this one, let me say I’m sorry you’re in such a tough situation. When someone breaks your trust, it’s natural to assume there are other ways they may be lying or sneaking around.

If the relationship is one where you can all still sit down and chat, I’d start there. Get all the co-owners together to talk about what surveillance devices you’re all comfortable with. A front door camera is one thing. I can tell what you’re worried about are cameras (that record audio, too) across the house and in the areas outside where everyone spends time.

Now, things can get a little tricky here since multiple families share ownership of the cottage — especially if your brother-in-law can’t be part of the conversation. It’s really not overkill to chat with a lawyer about what your rights are around disabling or removing the cameras altogether.

Let’s say you do decide to lock things down

Start with the router. It’s the key to every connected device in the cottage, so if you reset that (and kick your BIL off), you’re one step closer to privacy. For directions on doing this, look up your router’s manual or search for “model name + factory reset.”

If the cameras belong to all of you, factory reset those, too. Add them to a new account you set up yourself. Since this is a shared property, I suggest you disable audio recording permanently so everyone can feel more comfortable.

In the meantime

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