🫥 Royal eviction: The royal family gave Prince Andrew the 404 treatment. He’s now just Andrew Albert Christian Edward Mountbatten Windsor. Not only is he out of his 30-room mansion, but he’s been digitally wiped off every royal website. Search his name? It reroutes to King Charles. Rumor is Prince Harry is next, but remember, the king can only move one space at a time. (Get it, chess joke? Woah, tough crowd today!)
Been on Facebook for years? You might have a pile of unread DMs hiding in your Message requests folder. That’s where Meta keeps chats from anyone outside your friends list. To check, open the app and tap the Messenger icon > Settings > Message requests > You may know. Who knows, maybe a childhood friend is still waiting on a reply.
AI after dark: Meta’s facing a $359M porn piracy lawsuit, and claims it didn’t use adult films to train its AI. It argues the 2,396 videos(!) were likely downloaded for “private personal use” on its network. Yep, they’re leaning on an old BitTorrent excuse that IP addresses don’t prove identity and “someone at work might’ve torrented that.” I hope his name wasn’t Mark.
Death by download: A YouTuber made a how-to on installing Windows 11 on unsupported PCs. YouTube yanked it and claimed it could lead to “harm or death.” No, seriously. Apparently, teaching people how to upgrade their dusty laptop is a lethal activity. Rich, the creator, thinks Microsoft might be pulling strings. Thanks for keeping the internet safe, YouTube. Next up: cat videos taken down for terrorism.
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Logging off is luxe: You know what’s trendy? Not texting back. Seriously, people are paying to not be online (paywall link). They’re going to concerts and dinner parties where phones get locked up and strangers actually talk. Apps like 222 even charge a “curation fee” to set up phone-free hangouts. I’m sure there’s a market to pay $25 to make real eye contact with a stranger.
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What did they say? It’s tough keeping up with all the new slang flying around on social media. That’s where Urban Dictionary saves the day. Look up any phrase your kids might drop, like “no cap” or “bussin.” The top-voted definitions appear first, so you’ll finally know if you’ve been complimented or roasted.
CEOs lose it: I agree. America’s CEOs have officially had it. Too many people are texting in meetings (paywall link). Airbnb’s Brian Chesky called it a “societal problem.” Jamie Dimon of JPMorgan Chase tells execs to shut their iPads. Others are banning Wi-Fi. If you think it’s bad now, wait until the iPad kids enter the boardroom.