🤖 Blocky box office: A Minecraft Movie is exclusively hitting HBO Max this Friday. It’s got Jason Momoa, Jack Black, even a villain named Malgosha, all in one magical cube-based world. It’s already earned $951M+ worldwide since its March debut, becoming the top-grossing film of 2025. You and your kiddos will love it.
Digital passport for the AI age
Sam Altman who created ChatGPT now wants to scan your eyeballs with a glowing bowling ball to prove you’re human online, and he made a jingle about it. Seriously. I told you all about it back on May 6. Orb just dropped its first U.S. ad campaign. It’s basically the “If You’re Happy and You Know It” of human verification. It feels like a TSA PreCheck for whatever weird world we’re heading into. It already has 13 million verified humans across 20+ countries, with goals to hit 50 million by the end of 2025. Not me.
Within 3 years
A brand-new gold car can lose around 34% of its value. Other colors that don’t age well? White drops about 32.1%, and black comes in at 31.9%. On the bright side (had to say it), yellow holds up best at 24%, with orange right behind at 24.4%. Yeah, I’m still not driving a pumpkin car though.
Reason #452 why I sold my Tesla: FSD was a pile of poopy hype. In repeated trials, Tesla’s Full Self-Driving feature rolled past stop signs and mowed down child-size mannequins like a GTA side quest. Elon says safety is top priority, which is reassuring to the mannequins’ plastic parents.
Meta’s next smart glasses: Meta and Oakley have a new pair dropping Friday, made for athletes this time. No specs yet, but they’ll probably work like the Meta Ray-Bans. Think photos, videos, music, calls and AI that describes what you’re looking at. Oh, and the camera might sit in the center of the frame. Wow.
😨 Data brokers turn deadly: This is horrifying. The man accused of assassinating Minnesota state Rep. Melissa Hortman and her husband allegedly used people search sites (paywall link) to stalk them. If criminals can track politicians, they can track you. That’s why you need Incogni to get your info off those websites.
Over 225 billion
The number of cyberattacks Cloudflare sees every single day. The twist? One of the biggest targets is gamers. Hackers love snatching accounts, changing the login details and reselling them. So give your kid a heads-up: Phishing emails are scammers’ favorite move. If a link says “free loot,” it’s a trap.
Car scam alert: A Nebraska man with terminal cancer tried to buy a $12K 1955 Chevy for one last summertime cruise. Instead, he wired money to a fake escrow site. Now the website, the cash and his dream are long gone. BBB says the site was a mirage. I hope these scammers rot in hell.
🍕 When the Pentagon eats pizza: An X account tracked pizza shop orders near the Pentagon, and predicted Israel’s strike on Iran hours before it happened. Pizza spiked, then dropped. The bar went quiet. Suddenly missiles. It’s not the first time folks have linked local takeout to military action.
4,000+
That’s how many natural water brands are out there, and yes, sommeliers are involved. From Tasmanian mist nets to Peruvian snowmelt, hydration’s gone haute couture. Some bottles hit $30+; others wear Swarovski crowns. Welcome to the rise of red carpet hydration. Your Brita? A meager peasant.