The end of the free internet

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Back in the day, websites were begging for visitors. Not anymore.

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The nerve: After boarding the plane for a flight to Miami, there was a mechanical issue, so passengers left the plane to stretch their legs. When one guy returned, someone told him a blonde woman stopped at his seat, unplugged his charger and put it in her bag. He confronted her, camera in hand. Here’s the vid.

3,600-year-old cheese

Found buried with Bronze Age mummies in northwestern China. It took researchers a decade of DNA analysis to determine the substance was, in fact, the world’s oldest cheese. Un-brie-lievable.

💸 The next big thing? Former Apple designer Jony Ive and OpenAI’s Sam Altman are working on an AI-powered device. Details are scarce (of course!), but they say it’ll handle advanced tasks like booking travel and identifying plants from photos, with more power than the average smartphone and fewer disruptions than a standard phone.

Every 13 miles

How often Tesla’s Full Self-Driving mode requires human intervention. In a 1,000-mile test, drivers had to intervene to prevent dangerous behavior more than 75 times. The good: Self-driving mode brakes for pedestrians and lets oncoming cars through. The bad: It also runs red lights and drives into oncoming traffic. Just say no.

👋 Don’t fall for this: There’s a new viral post making the rounds on Facebook, Instagram and other Meta platforms. The post says if you don’t copy the post and share it, you’re fine with Meta using your info and photos. Reality check: It’s fake and won’t do diddly-squat. Make your account private; Meta AI (supposedly) only pulls from public posts.

Six in 10 companies are firing Gen Z workers — often, just months after hiring them fresh out of college. They claim Gen Zers are struggling with communication, professionalism and motivation. Their ex-bosses also say they constantly need direction and have trouble showing up to work.

🧬 Book ‘em, Danno: A 65-year-old Massachusetts suspect was arrested for a 1988 crime after police collected his spit from the sidewalk. They matched his saliva to DNA found under the victim’s fingernails, a bloody T-shirt and a cigarette left at the crime scene. The victim was a 25-year-old Boston woman with a toddler at home.

18 years

Paying the neighbor’s electricity bill. A guy in Vacaville, California, has lived alone in the same apartment complex since 2006. The entire time, he wondered why the heck his power bill was so high. Turns out he was paying for the apartment next door, too. What a dope.

🚨 eBay scam alert: People are buying high-ticket items on eBay, filing returns, then sending back thank-you cards instead of products. Sellers report the scam (with proof, but the return label is on a tiny envelope) and get stuck in an endless appeals process. Find another place to sell your expensive stuff.

1,500 miles traveled

To return a kid’s beloved stuffed animal. A Texas woman took to Facebook after her 9-year-old left his stuffed gorilla at a California hotel. A stranger saw the post, went an hour out of her way to pick it up, then documented the gorilla’s journey home. Absolutely watch this if you need a smile!