The case of the phony subpoena

👽 “We are not alone”: So say some former government and military officials, who testified to Congress about UFOs in November 2024. One Navy rear admiral says he saw a video of a flying object that was more advanced than anything in our military. The Pentagon insists there’s no proof UFOs are alien spacecraft. In the words of Robin Williams, “If aliens are watching us, they probably think dogs are in charge and we’re their pets. They’re like, ‘Why else would humans pick up their poop?’”

Frequent-flier points awarded to those who complete Scandinavian Airlines’ new promotion. The goal is to fly at least 15 SkyTeam airlines by Dec. 31. People are taking off work and pulling their kids out of school to do it. A common strat: Booking cheap short-haul flights (paywall link). Speaking of … A man lost his luggage while flying, so he took the airline to court. Apparently, he lost his case.

I had a joke, but someone stole it: I thought this was interesting. Radio-emitting threads could replace metal tags to stop shoplifters. A company called Myruns is behind the tech. The threads are five times thinner than a single human hair. Special ink inside the threads would transmit signals to set off alarms.

Really like a livestreamer? On the YouTube app, you’ll soon be able to buy “jewels” for your favorite creators. Think of jewels as a virtual tip for the person making the videos you love. As far as tips go, the one profession that should get them is teaching: “Thanks, and here’s $25 for teaching my bratty kid algebra.”

Not your dentist’s advice: TikTok’s latest stupid viral trend, oil-pulling, has people swishing cooking oil around their mouths for five to 20 minutes. Why? To whiten teeth and prevent gum disease. There’s some evidence it improves gum health, but it’s nowhere near as effective as mouthwash or, ya know, brushing your teeth.

Future of hiring: Gen Z is ditching traditional resumes and recording videos on TikTok to land jobs. Take Nicole, who applied for a Barstool Sports internship with a video resume and racked up over 657,000 views. No word on how many recruiters saw it, but it sure beats having a resume get buried in an inbox or automatically trashed by an AI bot.

👁️ Eye love this news: Researchers have restored the vision of people with damaged corneas. They took blood cells from healthy donors, reprogrammed them into corneal cells and formed a thin sheet to place on the damaged eyes. Three out of four patients have better vision a year later. Clinical trials are set for March.

Oops, they did it again: First, Communist China copied the U.S. military’s F-35 jets using stolen drawings and secrets. Now, their military is ripping off our robot dogs, too. China’s “robo wolves” follow commands, like “sit,” “stand” and “move,” and they can do other tricks, like running, carrying supplies and firing rifles. Who needs spy movies when our military secrets are practically doing press tours?