📸 Big Brother’s photo dump: Oh boy. Facebook’s testing a feature that scans your phone’s entire camera roll, yes, even the photos you never posted, to “find hidden gems.” It uploads your unposted shots to Meta’s cloud, and if you edit or share them, Meta can train its AI on your pics. The company swears it’s opt-in. You go first.
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📺 Maxed out your Max: Don’t shoot the messenger, but HBO Max costs more. Again. It’s now $10.99 for ads, $18.49 standard and $22.99 premium. That’s up $1 to $2 a month for new subscribers. Everyone else gets hit next billing cycle. At this point, HBO stands for “Hold Bank Open.”
Eau de octane: Bought an electric car and missing that good old gas station musk? Kia’s new EV4 comes with a free air freshener that smells like “motor oil with a hint of gasoline.” It’s like going vegan but still hanging around barbecue joints for the vibes. Wait, this one is better. Nothing says “clean energy future” like the scent of a Jiffy Lube waiting room. (lol)
📸 “I let him in”: TikTokers are making fake “AI homeless man” pranks, photos of random strangers edited into their homes, then sent to partners or parents for shock value. One viral post hit 5.5M likes before police nationwide started warning: It’s not funny, it’s dangerous. The pranked are calling the cops in a panic, wasting everyone’s time.
🤖 Prime and punishment: It’s happening. Amazon is assembling a team, and by team, I mean a robot army. Leaked docs say Amazon’s trying to automate 75% of operations by 2033, which would save them $12.6 billion and skip 600,000 human hires. They’re even rebranding robots as “cobots” to avoid the A-word (automation) and soften the blow.
🔑 Bet you never tried this! So a Montana woman’s car key stopped working, battery fine, dealership stumped. She asked ChatGPT, which told her to hold the fob under her chin. Yes, really. She did, and her truck unlocked instantly. Turns out your body’s 60% water, and radio waves love that. Congratulations, you’re part car antenna.
Want to be a “breaking news” anchor? The Citizen safety app announced it’ll pay you, up to $400, to livestream nearby emergencies. Fires, crimes, chaos? Grab your phone and hit “Go Live.” Along with pushing real-time alerts, the app is basically turning users into freelance local news crews. No word yet on how to sign up.
🔢 The great “six seven” uprising: Middle schoolers are possessed by a two-number demon. Say “six seven,” and the room explodes (paywall link). Kids shriek, wave their hands, total meltdown. It started as a TikTok meme tied to rapper Skrilla’s song “Doot Doot (6 7),” and now teachers avoid even saying the numbers, though they must be happy it’s not 69.