Bonus episode: The Kim Komando Show, April 20

What do you say when you answer the phone? “Hello,” of course—and that’s thanks to Thomas Edison. His rival, Alexander Graham Bell, thought phones should be answered with something different. Was it A.) “Ahoy,” B.) “All right,” C.) “Howdy” or D.) “Salutations?”

Find the answer here →

An $80,000 paperweight: That’s what one Cybertruck owner thought he had after taking his new toy through a car wash. The truck’s console screen went black as he rolled into the garage. After a hard reset (and five hours!), it powered on again. The damage caused by failing to put the Cybertruck in Car Wash mode voids its warranty. Yikes.

In the first quarter of 2024, bringing the platform’s global total to 270 million. Netflix execs are stopping sharing subscriber numbers. My guess: They’re reaching saturation, and soon, there’ll be nowhere for these numbers to go but down.

🥳 Treat yo’-self: Amazon will give you a $100 gift card when you buy the latest Samsung Tab S6 Lite tablet. Grab the 64GB version for $330 or the 128GB version for $400. Specs include a 10.4-inch display, Dolby Atmos surround sound, up to 14 hours of battery life and S Pen compatibility.

We may receive a commission when you buy through our links, but our reporting and recommendations are always independent and objective.

Smoke and mirrors: The fourth bitcoin “halving” just slashed mining rewards in half — from 6.25 to 3.125 per block. Translation: Bitcoin will become 50% harder to find. This is the oldest marketing trick in the book. As it gets rarer, it becomes more valuable, and more people buy in at that increased price … until they stop buying altogether and it all crashes. Remember: The intrinsic value of bitcoin is exactly zero.

Start saving up now: Laptop tech has been stagnant for years, but the times, they are a-changin’. Computer makers are using chips that allow laptops to run large-scale AI models directly on the device. You’ll get better performance, tighter security and less reliance on the cloud (paywall link) — but expect laptop prices to skyrocket.

No phones in schools: That’s the goal, but parents want 24/7 access to their kiddos. Colorado’s Brush School District (paywall link) thinks it has the solution: Keep phones out of sight, and only use them with a teacher’s approval. And if the kids get caught, they have their phones taken away for the remainder of the school day. Share this one with a teacher.

That’s up 2% from last year. The result? Billions in losses to fight fake traffic and bot attacks. That’s one thing I love about writing this newsletter — I’m writing for real people!

Just days away: The House just passed the TikTok sell-or-ban bill again, but with a twist: It was bundled with urgent foreign aid bills supporting Ukraine and Israel, plus humanitarian support for Gaza. Next stop? The Senate, and, if it passes there, to President Biden’s desk for approval.

I love you just the weigh you are: Folks on social media are pushing Ozempic but hush-hush about its nasty side effects. Karen Evans (paywall link), for instance, never mentioned that severe vomiting made her quit the drug. Get this: Health influencers with under 100,000 followers are making $10,000 and up promoting Ozempic. Influences with over a million followers? They’re making $50,000 to $125,000 per post.