The enemy is already here

⚡ Apple Pay’s “free money”: You have to see this TikTok of a woman crying because she thought Apple Pay was Apple’s way of giving her money. She thought every tap, every time she accepted cookies and every app she downloaded earned her cash. I bet she thinks American Express is a train. Watch the short video here. Real or not? Let me know when you rate the newsletter at the end. 

⚡️ 3-second tech genius: On Facebook, save interesting posts for later. Tap the three-dot menu on a post, select Save post and find them anytime under the Saved section.

🛏️ Fake sleep science: Turns out sleep trackers are only 65% accurate at guessing your sleep stages. They’re basically playing a slightly smarter version of “Are You Asleep Yet?” based on your wrist twitches. Helpful? Maybe. Lab-grade reliable? Not even close. Still, 1 in 3 adults say they aren’t getting enough sleep, which explains why we keep buying the devices.

Chips off the ol’ motherboard: Nvidia just tossed $5B at Intel to build next-gen chips, mashing Intel CPUs with Nvidia GPUs for better PCs and AI gear. Intel’s had a rough patch, but this? Might be the glow-up it needs. Their stock jumped 28%. All they needed was a rich friend with a vision board. Don’t we all?

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🥶 Not the ad fridge: Samsung swore they had no plans to put ads on smart fridges’ screens. We know that song and dance. Cut to now and a new software update turned into full-blown Cover Screen promotions. Samsung says, “The ads are added value.” Talk about having big meatballs. At this rate, I’ll need a pop-up blocker in the produce drawer.

TikTok gets a chaperone: Instead of a ban, TikTok’s getting a weird fix. ByteDance will lease its algorithm (paywall link) to a U.S.-controlled company. Oracle handles the “don’t spy on Americans” part, and the app on your phone? Works the same. No re-download needed, no sudden disappearance.

🕳️ Crypto bribery network: So X says scammers tried to bribe employees into reinstating banned crypto accounts. The group behind it, “The Com,” is basically a hacker frat for teenagers, linked to 120+ attacks, even against the London Underground. Imagine hacking the subway before you can drive a car. Legal action’s in motion, but heads up: If you see “double your Bitcoin now,” it’s not your lucky day.