Humans vs. mobile phone subscriptions

🤠 Did you hear Elon Musk is moving X and SpaceX to Texas? Yup, now all his X-es live in Texas. (Oh, good one there!) Speaking of Musk, right now, you can spot Starlink’s massive train of 6,219 satellites in the sky. Go to FindStarlink.com and type in your city to see when and where it’s visible near you over the next five days.

Kendrick Lamar is somewhere laughing: Drake just dropped a 100GB folder of music, videos, photos and random content for his superfans. There are three unreleased tracks, but the bulk is behind-the-scenes footage of him making music, as well as storms in Miami. There are 13 videos of just rain and wind knocking around palm trees. Uh, neat.

What do priests and cabbage perfumes have in common? Lettuce spray.

I hope you’re not lactose-intolerant, because I have some cheesy pickup lines.

Let’s eat Grandma. Let’s eat, Grandma. Commas save lives!

Worst job I ever had was ironing cowboy shirts. Howdy pressing.

Greeting next time I go to yoga: “What’s up, dog?”