Physical gold remains a top investment choice

🧃 Per my last brain cell: OK, you know those emails that start with “Just circling back” or “Please advise”? Yeah, turns out everyone hates them, and now AI’s writing that way, too. We basically trained the bots to sound like they’ve been trapped in middle management since 2006. A new study looked at a million emails, and the worst offenders are exactly what you’d expect: “per my last email,” “take this offline,” “just ping me,” “low-hanging fruit,” “bandwidth” and the dreaded “quick question.” 

Served on stage: Sam Altman was handed a subpoena while on stage in San Francisco, mid-event, next to Steve Kerr. Prosecutors tried reaching him at work and online first. It’s tied to a criminal trial involving protesters who blocked OpenAI’s HQ in February. The group Stop AI claims they were trying to slow OpenAI’s “attempted murder of everyone and every living thing on Earth.” Just another day in San Francisco tech. Oh, to add to the stress, Sora is costing OpenAI $15 million a day. 

That ain’t Hank: An AI-generated “artist” named Breaking Rust hit #1 on Billboard’s Country Digital Song Sales chart, beating some real heavy-hitting artists. The Spotify numbers are suspiciously massive, and there’s zero disclosure. The fans? Possibly bots. The “singer”? Not real. I bet he’s not even a real outlaw! Give the song a listen. 

Bill’s bubble bust: Bill Gates says we’re in an AI bubble, not full tulip mania but definitely dot-com vibes. He thinks some AI companies will be game changers, but most? Burning cash and copying each other. Totally something Microsoft wouldn’t do. “Dead ends,” he called them. The tech’s real, but the hype is getting expensive fast. After seeing my third AI note-taking app this week, I can’t say I disagree. 

No juice, no plane: Here’s one TSA rule you probably forgot: They can ask you to power on your phone, laptop or even your Switch. If it doesn’t turn on? You could miss your flight. It’s how they check it’s not a bomb. So yeah, maybe don’t show up with 2% battery and good intentions.

🪖 Free AI for vets: If you’re getting out of the military, or just did, OpenAI’s hooking you up with a free year of ChatGPT Plus. OpenAI wants to help you with résumés, job hunting and the whole “what now?” situation. The pilot includes special training tools (paywall link), plus suicide prevention resources to catch signs you’re struggling and point you to real help.

🧴 Clear eyes, small words: You know that age-related blurry-near-vision thing you’ve either heard about or experienced? It’s called presbyopia, and 128 million Americans deal with it. Well, turns out there’s a potential fix. Vizz eye drops shrink your pupils for sharper close-up vision, like built-in squint mode, and they just got FDA approval. It gives me WD-40 but for your eyeballs vibes. 

🥳 The Promised LAN: Last month, I sat on an 11-hour flight from London with no Wi-Fi. Argh. Those days are coming to an end. Starlink hit 8 million subscribers and inked a shiny new deal with British Airways’ parent company to install satellite Wi-Fi on 500 planes from BA, Iberia and Aer Lingus. I believe Wi can Fi.