What phone does the president use? The answer will make you appreciate yours

February 16, 2026

By Kim Komando

Happy Presidents’ Day. While you’re enjoying the day off, here’s something to appreciate: your phone. Because the president’s makes yours look like a Swiss Army knife.

📱 World’s most boring iPhone

The president carries a custom iPhone locked down by the NSA. No App Store. No texting. No GPS. No Find My. For obvious reasons. The secure communications device runs on an encrypted system. Basically, a $1,200 walkie-talkie.

Trump carried two iPhones his first term. One only made calls. Staffers called it “the burner.” The other had social media and news sites. That’s it. Both swapped every 30 days for malware checks.

Obama had it worse. His locked-down iPhone had no camera, no mic, no calls. He compared it to “a play phone your 3-year-old has.”

And no president can have a personal email. Every message is archived under the Presidential Records Act. Forever. Imagine that.

🚗 $1.5 million car with blood in the trunk

The presidential limo, nicknamed “The Beast,” weighs up to 20,000 pounds. Walls are 8 inches of steel, titanium and ceramic. Each door weighs as much as a Boeing 757 cabin door. Windows are 5 inches of bulletproof glass built to stop armor-piercing rounds and RPGs. A .44 Magnum is entry-level for this car.

Tires are Kevlar-reinforced run-flats with steel rims. Blow the rubber clear off, and it keeps moving at full speed.

The Beast has its own oxygen supply, smoke screens, tear gas cannons, night-vision cameras and door handles that shock uninvited grabbers with 120 volts. The trunk contains shotguns and a fridge with bags of the president’s blood type.

Top speed: 60 mph. Fuel economy: 8 mpg. When it’s retired, the Secret Service uses it for ramming practice. Then it’s crushed. Gone.

🏈 45-pound nuclear briefcase

A military aide carries the “football” everywhere the president goes. It’s not a button. It’s a mobile command center with the “Black Book” of strike options, comms equipment and a laminated card called “the biscuit” that verifies the president’s identity. Decision to launch: about 4 minutes.

Now here’s where it gets fun. And by fun, I mean terrifying.

Jimmy Carter sent his biscuit to the dry cleaners. Bill Clinton lost his for months. Ronald Reagan’s codes got tossed into a plastic hospital bag after he was shot in 1981. And George H.W. Bush sped off in his motorcade after a tennis match and left his military aide standing on the court. Holding the nuclear briefcase, in tennis whites.

These are the people with the launch codes.

This one’s too good to keep to yourself. Forward it to a friend, share it with the group chat, post it wherever people need a laugh today. Because nothing puts your tech frustrations in perspective like a president who can’t use his own Peloton. Share using the icons below, or send them to GetKim.com to sign up for free.