This is funny

August 10, 2024

💸 This is funny: Microsoft wanted to give Apple their search site, Bing, for free. Apple said no thanks because Bing sucks and doesn’t generate enough ad revenue. Instead, Apple paid Google $22 billion so their search engine would be the default on iPhones. Microsoft should’ve called theirs Bang instead of Bing; all the guys would’ve been able to say, “Hey, I Banged Margot Robbie and a few other hotties last night.”

Tags: Apple, Google, search engine

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Biggest data breaches of 2024 (so far)

From big banks to car dealerships, 2024 has been a banner year for data breaches. Yes, I mean that in the worst way possible. I’d be shocked if there’s any American left unexposed at this point.

Let’s take a walk down the data breach memory lane. I’ve got steps for remediation at the end for you and everyone you care about.

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Dog sets the house on fire

An indoor cam caught a dog chewing on a lithium-ion battery power bank, which then set the house on fire. The flames spread through the living room in minutes. The family (and all their pets) got out safely. Note to self: Keep power banks up high away from Abby.

13% decrease

In LDL cholesterol (the “bad” one) by eating corn flour daily. Researchers tested a few different combos and found refined cornmeal mixed with corn bran was the winner at lowering cholesterol. Time to bake some cornbread.

Hacked Ring camera

Ausharee Mcleod says her 5 year old son’s Ring camera was hacked after he heard a voice whisper “hey” in the middle of the night.

$20 subscription fee

Rumored for Apple Intelligence. It would likely come as part of Apple One, which also includes Apple Music and 2TB of iCloud storage. It’d better beat Siri by a long shot if anyone is going to pay for it.

$14,200 a month

To answer questions from his couch. A mechanic quit his full-time job at Ford after he started making more money helping folks on JustAnswer. He works hard for that money — eight to 10 hours a day, seven days a week. I’m signing Barry up!

$1,000,000 bounty

For anyone who catches a major Samsung security flaw. Bag a local arbitrary execution to score $300,000. Remote code execution vulnerabilities are worth up to $1 million. If you know what those terms mean, get to work.

64% fewer stolen cars

After Kia and Hyundai’s anti-theft software upgrades. The 2023 free update fixed shoddy security measures that made it way too easy to steal the vehicles. Drive one and not sure if you got the update? Call your dealership.

$600,000 lost

After a homebuyer’s law firm was hacked. Now he’s suing them. Richard Bates hired the firm to help him buy a house. Hackers broke into their email and stole enough to trick Bates into wiring them his home payment. Bates says it wouldn’t have happened if his lawyers had basic cybersecurity like 2FA. Well, he’s not wrong.

50% decline

In brain volume loss for folks trialing a drug similar to Ozempic. Liraglutide simulates the hormone GLP-1, which regulates appetite and blood sugar. It might be a tool to fight Alzheimer’s, too. Participants saw an 18% slower decline in cognitive function. Promising, right?