Mario gets friend-zoned

August 3, 2025

Mario gets friend-zoned: Nintendo just hard-launched emotional damage by announcing Mario and Peach are “just good friends.” This, despite years of flirty kisses, wedding attempts and Nintendo itself calling them a couple in past games. Peach watched him fight Bowser and still said, “Thanks, bestie!” Guess saving someone from 500+ castles only gets you a LinkedIn endorsement now.