🚘 Crash course in not dying

July 2, 2026

Turns out the ’90s weren’t just bad for jeans. They were also bad for surviving SUV crashes.

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety smashed a 1996 Chevy Blazer into a 2026 Blazer, and the new one took it like a champ. Its front end crumpled, cabin stayed intact and the dummy could’ve walked away with bruises.

The old Blazer folded like a barbecue lawn chair. Dashboard in the lap, steering column invading personal space, airbag uppercutting the dummy’s head clean off. Progress is real. Nostalgia needs a seat belt.