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Divorcing your spouse: How to safely remove them from shared accounts

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When you host a show on over 400 radio stations in the U.S. about all things tech, this question comes up quite a bit: “How can I tell if my partner is cheating?”  

My best advice is to have an honest conversation with your partner, with the support of a couple’s therapist. Still, cheating does leave a ton of tech breadcrumbs. You have to know where to look.

When a relationship ends, tech lives also need to be untangled. 

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Start with a list

The longer you’re with someone, the more accounts, passwords, and devices you share. Sit down and make a list of all you can think of. Check your browser’s saved passwords for inspiration. One by one, sign out of each account on every device, then change your passwords.

A password manager will help you generate new, strong passwords — or you can go old school and write them down. Just don’t leave a book out for anyone to find.

While you’re shopping, you might as well get yourself a funny gift.

Here’s a list to get you thinking:

  • Email: If your ex has your password, you logged in on their device or had a shared account or device, log out and change your password.
  • Banking or other financial sites: Set up a new online account with your new bank account.
  • Social media: Did you share your passwords or log in to Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, or other social media sites? Yes, change those passwords.
  • Cloud storage: This includes access to your Apple, Google Drive, Dropbox and online backup accounts.
  • Online shopping: Amazon is a must. Look through your last bank statements to remind yourself where else you have online accounts.

Next, I’ll walk you through the steps to log out of every device on a few major sites and services. 

Google

Since your Google account could be tied to your emails, contacts, location history, searches, photos, and more, it’s a big one to tackle.

Here’s how to see every device signed in to your account:

  • Go to google.com/devices. You’ll need to sign in.
  • You’ll see a list of devices you’re currently signed in to or have been in the last 28 days.

You might see the same device multiple times, and that’s normal. You can click each one to see which browser was used. That might be a tip-off someone else has logged in — you see Microsoft Edge, for example, but you always use Chrome.

For any device you know is not yours, click it, then choose “Don’t recognize something?” Google will sign this device out remotely. After that, change your password.

Part of saying goodbye is getting rid of social media posts that mention your ex. Here’s a faster way than swiping through one by one. 

Amazon

Your credit and money are tied to Amazon. Even if your ex wouldn’t use your account to buy things, do you want them to see what you buy and stream? No.

  • Open Amazon, then hover your mouse over “Hello [your name], Account & Lists.”
  • Under Your Account, click Account.
  • Select Login & security. You may need to sign in again.
  • At the bottom, you will see “Compromised account?” Click Start.

A notification will be sent to your email address. Once you approve it, you can sign out of every device connected to your account. Do so, then change your password.

Facebook

Here’s how to see the devices logged into your Facebook account. It’s easiest to do this from a computer.

  • Sign in, then click on the down arrow in the top right corner.
  • Click on Settings & privacy > Settings.
  • Finally, click on Security and Login.
  • You’ll see a section called Where you’re logged in. It shows the two most recent devices and their approximate login locations. Click the See More option for a broader view.

Carefully review each entry and look for locations you’ve never been to or devices you don’t own.

Pro tip: If you use a VPN, it may be reflected in your past locations. Check to see what city your VPN is connecting through before you panic. Don’t use a VPN? It’s a privacy must for keeping what you do your business. My recommendation is our sponsor, ExpressVPN.

You can click on the three dots next to a device from this page to select “Not You?” or “Log out.”

The first option will give you more details on the device and where it’s located, along with steps to secure your account. The latter option will log that device out.

RELATED: Amazon Prime perks that make the annual membership worth it 

Netflix

You can see every device logged in and sign them out remotely in a few steps. It’s easiest to do this task from your computer.

  • Log into your Netflix account. If you have multiple profiles, select your profile to go to the Netflix homepage.
  • Hover over your profile icon and choose Account.
  • In the Settings section, choose Sign out of all devices.
  • Confirm you want to do this and click Sign out. 

Spotify

Streaming isn’t just movies and TV. If you shared a Spotify account, don’t forget to revoke access.

To log out of all devices and browsers:

  • Log in to your account page.
  • Click Sign Out Everywhere.

Be aware that this doesn’t include speakers, TVs, or game consoles. To remove your account, go to your apps page and choose Remove Access.

Keep your tech-know going

My popular podcast is called “Kim Komando Today.” It’s a solid 30 minutes of tech news, tips, and callers with tech questions like you from all over the country. Search for it wherever you get your podcasts. For your convenience, hit the link below for a recent episode.

PODCAST PICK: Smart toilet, home selling danger, make money from home

What’s in your toilet? A ton of data. Just connect this device to your iPhone — and then your toilet. Plus, a Mercedes-level stroller for babies, AI ovens, color-changing cars, 3D tours pose major security risks, how to make more money and my smart advice for callers like you.

Check out my podcast “Kim Komando Today” on Apple, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player.

Listen to the podcast here or wherever you get your podcasts. Just search for my last name, “Komando.”

Get more tech know-how on The Kim Komando Show, broadcast on 425+ radio stations and available as a podcast. Sign up for Kim’s 5-minute free morning roundup for the latest security breaches and tech news. Need help? Drop your question for Kim here.

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