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My mom sent me these today

My mom sent me these today

My mother sent me this email today. I am sharing it with you.

A wonderful collection of brilliance that you can share with your family and friends too.

- The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible- George Burns

- Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.- Victor Borge

- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.- Mark Twain

- By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.- Socrates

- I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.- Groucho Marx

- I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.- Zsa Zsa Gabor

- Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.- Alex Levine

- My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.- Rodney Dangerfield

- Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.- Spike Milligan

- Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.- Joe Namath

- I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then, it's time for my nap.- Bob Hope

- I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.- W. C. Fields

- We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.- Will Rogers

- Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.- Winston Churchill

- Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.- Phyllis Diller

- By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.- Billy Crystal

- And finally, the cardiologist's diet is this. If it tastes good, spit it out.

May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Thanks for stopping by our site, today and always.

 

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