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November 2, 2025

🛞 Altman’s $50K ghost car: Ever order something that took too long to ship? Sam Altman’s been waiting 7.5 years for his Tesla Roadster. This week, he finally asked for his $50,000 deposit back, and Tesla’s email bounced. Really. The car? Still MIA. The refund? Also MIA. The drama? Very much alive. I’d say it’s like pouring gas on the Musk-Altman beef, except, you know, it’s electric.

Fake CEO fiasco: Apparently 100,000 people watched a fake NVIDIA livestream where an AI-generated version of CEO Jensen Huang told them to send crypto to “advance humanity.” I mean, buddy, that’s like your boss asking for rent money during a PowerPoint. The wildest part? It got five times more live viewers than the real NVIDIA event.

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🔥 Fire drill: Picture this, you’re an Amazon driver in California, and your route literally runs through a wildfire, smoke everywhere. You call dispatch thinking they’ll tell you to turn back. Instead? “Do what you can.” That’s what Johnny heard. Amazon’s apps track every blink, brake and sip of water, but they can’t seem to provide basic safety guidance like not driving into a fire.

Drive-thru showdown: In the most exciting event since horse racing, Taco Bell clocked the fastest drive-thru time in America, again. Four minutes, start to finish. Chick-fil-A might smile more, but Taco Bell feeds you faster. The study even says AI drive-thrus are less accurate than humans. Yeah, your next taco might come quicker, but maybe with someone else’s Baja Blast.

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Walking the walk: You’ve gotta see this. People with paralysis are walking again thanks to a self-balancing robotic suit. No walker, no cables, just pure movement. One guy stood up and hugged his daughter for the first time in three years. Watch the video; it’s the kind of hope you feel. I love when tech actually helps in such an amazing way.

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✈️ The sky-high shriek: Imagine this. You’re mid-movie on a flight, and your $249 AirPods Pro 3 start whistling in your ear like a boiling teapot. Some fliers say the new AirPods’ noise-canceling feature flips out at altitude, creating a painful screech. Apple hasn’t fixed it yet, so maybe pack an old backup pair that behaves. Or pretend it’s experimental jazz.

🖥️ Bought a high refresh rate monitor? Make sure it’s actually running at full speed and not stuck at 60 Hz. Go to Settings > System > Display > Advanced display. Select your monitor (top right), then pick 144 Hz or 240 Hz under Choose a refresh rate. If you don’t see those options, get an HDMI 2.0 or DisplayPort cable.

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No kids club: So Character.AI, the app where people talk to pretend humans, is officially kicking out everyone under 18. Yep, kids are getting banned after some horrific lawsuits, including one from a mom who says a chatbot pushed her son to end his life. Starting now, there’s a two-hour limit. Full lockout by Nov. 25. Right, like this will work.

Lazy-day win: In maybe the best news in a while for incessant returning folks, you may soon be able to skip the whole “find a box, print a label, drive to UPS” thing. Amazon’s testing a partnership with USPS that lets you hand off returns right from your doorstep. Eligible items are under 15 pounds, and it’s rolling out quietly.

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Love, loss & lies: Here’s your daily dose of “aww … ouch.” Larry, a 71-year-old from California, loses his wife, gets a wrong-number text and somehow ends up falling for “Tina,” a woman who claimed to trade crypto and sip Napa wine. Three months later? His $1 million life savings was gone. Turns out “Tina” was really good at pretending to care.

🩳 Detroit’s courtroom surprise: A cop logged into virtual court, badge up top, boxers down below, and forgot his camera was not cropped. We’ve all been there. The judge gasps, “You got some pants on, officer?” And the cop? Deadpan: “No, sir.” Detroit’s finest, apparently also Detroit’s freest. You know what they say, justice is a dish best served pantsless.

🚗 Shaq’s hacked: Have you seen a $180,000 Range Rover custom fit for a 7’1” massive human being? It’s probably Shaquille O’Neal’s, which straight-up disappeared while being shipped from Atlanta to Louisiana. Authorities think hackers hijacked the transport company’s computers, rerouted the delivery and stole the SUV. A $10,000 reward’s up, but for now … big man’s down a big ride.

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