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Ddave
Junior Member
115 Posts |
 Posted - 02/26/2007 : 15:27:50
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I will look forward to it snowball.  |
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*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2007 : 21:04:23
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| LOL! |
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2007 : 09:57:46
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Another Sunday joke.
A Preacher, Famous for his long sermons in church and at funerals, got so wrapped up in his sermon one Sunday that he went well past the normal time. An elderly member of his Congregation suddlenly jumped up and headed for the exit. The Preacher stopped in mid sentence and shouted "Brother Fred where are you going?" Brother Fred replied "I have to get my hair cut." The Preacher said "Well you know that I'm a Barber, Why didn't you tell me you needed a haircut before church?" Fred replied " I didn't need a haircut before you started your sermon." |
Edited by - Seadog on 03/04/2007 10:04:20 |
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Ddave
Junior Member
115 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2007 : 06:43:00
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LOL  |
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Ddave
Junior Member
115 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2007 : 10:49:32
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MILK
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.
The last question was: "Name seven advantages of "Mothers Milk." Worth 70
points or none at all.
One student, who had partied late the night before, was frustrated to
think of seven advantages.
He wrote:
1. It is perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always at the right temperature.
4. It is inexpensive.
5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6. It is always available as needed.
And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
bell rang, indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7. It comes in such cute containers.
He got an "A". |
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*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1277 Posts |
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2007 : 17:54:29
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A Blonde joke.
A Blonde woman worked for a High Tech. company and was always referred to as "That Dumb Blonde". She got tired of the comments about blondes and had her hair dyed red.
One day while driving down a country road she saw a field with several hundred sheep grazing. She stopped and asked the herder how many sheep he had, He replied that he had no idea. But guessed there were several hundred.
The woman said she bet she could count them and tell him exactly how many there were. The man said that it was impossible since the sheep were always on the move and wanted to know what he would lose if she did count them. She said all she would want was her pick of one of the sheep. The man said that's a bet.
The woman went back to her car got her camera, climbed a tree, snapped several pictures then connected the camera to her Laptop, did some calculating, printed a page, handed it to the sheepman and told him how many there were.
The man said you win, "Go pick out your sheep." The woman went out among the herd, then came back and and said "Didn't I pick a pretty one." The man replied "You sure did, Now I bet I can tell you what color your hair was before you dyed it red". The woman said "What will I have to do if you guess correctly." The man said "You will have to go back out there and turn my sheepdog loose."
(A shaggy dog story)(Long)
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Edited by - Seadog on 03/06/2007 17:01:40 |
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maryl47
Intermediate Member
1145 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2007 : 09:05:40
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That's funny! I thought the punchline was going to be something about her calculations - fooled me!
~Mary |
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brandywine
Intermediate Member
1396 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2007 : 13:30:37
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The way Medicare is headed:
MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
“Mrs. Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which one is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.Ward.
"Normally we could, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" asked Mrs. Ward.
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him." |
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Swani
Intermediate Member
1490 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2007 : 19:54:09
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| Brandy, "very interesting". "Laugh In" style. Do you remember that show? |
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*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2007 : 20:03:40
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| I remember! I was just a little tike when that was on. I hope it comes to DVD soon. I think I saw Home Theater Magazine mention it, but I've never found it in stores. |
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Swani
Intermediate Member
1490 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2007 : 20:12:25
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| I use to watch it all the time. I can still picture it in my mind. If you happen to see the DVD, Snowball, post that you found it. |
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maryl47
Intermediate Member
1145 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2007 : 20:30:18
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According to Netflix, there are 2 volumes of Best of Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In available. Not cheap to buy, though - from Amazon, they're around $80 for both. 3 discs in each. Now that you guys have brought it up, I think I'm gonna stick them in my queue. I haven't seen any of those forever. 
~Mary  |
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*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2007 : 21:23:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Swani
I use to watch it all the time. I can still picture it in my mind. If you happen to see the DVD, Snowball, post that you found it.
As Mary was saying you will probably find it on line quicker than you will in a store. I've never seen it up close and personal before. |
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 03/11/2007 : 12:08:44
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Sunday Joke of the week.
A visiting Minister, At the start of the offertory:
"Dear lord", He began with his arms extended upward and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "Without you, We are but dust...." He would have continued, But at that moment one very obedient small girl, who was listening carefully, Leaned over to her
Mother and asked quite audible in her shirll little girl voice:
"Mommy, What is Butt Dust."
Church Services were pretty much over at that point.....
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