 |
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
 Posted - 04/27/2011 : 10:41:25
|
Quote Xhi: "Actually the reason it is called a Fifth is because it is a Fifth of a Gallon! As gwing(03) noted: Quarts are for weenies."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks Major, I couldn't remember which measurement a fifth was based on. But in ounces they are both the same 4/5 of a quart, same as 1/5 Gallon to a "Moonshinner". But it really doesn't matter whether you drink a fifth, a quart, or a gallon of Keg County 'Shine you'll be embalmed, anyway, long before you finish the quart.
Before Tennessee became a State, and for several years following, Tennessee's monetary system was based on the price of whiskey, acording to some of our history books and the letters of famous people like, Andrew Jackson, John Severe, James Robertson, James Campbell, and others.
Heck, I don't have to go that far back, I remember as a young boy Farmers traded Eggs, Chickens, Vegetables, etc, for coffee, clothing and other items they couldn't grow or make. I'm sure some whiskey was traded for essential items also.
Seadog
|
Edited by - Seadog on 05/04/2011 06:33:49 |
 |
|
|
cwsnyder2
Senior Member
3900 Posts |
Posted - 04/27/2011 : 15:04:50
|
| @Seadog: Don't you mean they traded the whiskey for other essential items? |
|
|
|
Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2011 : 06:46:39
|
ThanksCWSnyder2. Maybe I should have said lesser essential items, as in food and clothing.
Seadog |
|
|
|
cwsnyder2
Senior Member
3900 Posts |
Posted - 04/29/2011 : 16:20:30
|
This story goes back at least to the 1960's, but may go back further. I'm not sure how to research jokes on the Internet, but let's see if I remember well enough:
I was walking through the cemetery one foggy night when I fell into an open grave. I tried to climb out, but the walls of the grave were too slick and I was too short to jump out, so I decided to settle in until someone else came into the graveyard who may be able to help me.
Suddenly, I noticed a coffin also in the grave with me, and it seemed to be getting closer, . . . and closer . . . and closer, and I commenced to be afraid.
Well, I had me a thought, and I whipped out a jar of Vick's Vapo-rub, and I stopped that coffin', there in its tracks. |
|
|
|
gwing
Junior Member
493 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2011 : 18:10:45
|
Hi guys...Greg has my account mostly figured out.....but now I gotta say, I think I have been misquoted quote:
Actually the reason it is called a Fifth is because it is a Fifth of a Gallon! As gwing(03) noted: Quarts are for weenies.
I don't remember saying that, unless that's because of sipping too much of Mr Kite's whiskey !!
gwing |
|
|
|
pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2011 : 19:51:21
|
You are showing up with your 468 posts. So he must have figured out something. Glad to see it was corrected.
Pharmacymom |
|
|
|
CindyLou
Intermediate Member
867 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2011 : 14:09:33
|
Norvegian diet
Ole was turning 78 and was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
The doctor said, "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."
When Ole returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
Ole nodded... "I'll tell you though, by God, I thought I wuz gonna drop dead on dat 3rd day."
"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor..
"Hell no, it wuz from all dat damn skippin!"
|
|
|
|
xhi
Advanced Member
14282 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2011 : 14:21:21
|
quote:
Originally posted by Seadog
quote:
Originally posted by MrKite
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do, to live without fear, and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible... No, wait a minute. Sorry; I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that ****! Never mind.
MrKite, That's a good one.
It caused me to "ponder" again,
If you will notice, A certain container of whiskey is called a "Fifth", I have always wondered why it is called a "Fifth" when it is actually "Four-fifths"(4/5) of a gallon.
Gwing, Tennessee does have some fine "sipping" whiskey, And we also have some mighty fine guzzling whiskey, It's called Keg County (Hickman county) Shine. Distilled at night and sold mostly in gallon containers. However, It's not available in stores.
Seadog
P.S. MrKite, While I was typing this reply my wife brought me a cup of coffee. She ask why I was laughing, Then she read your story. I am sorry to tell you this, But you have now joined me on her s**t list.
She started to pour out my cup of coffee because I was laughing.
S
It was the above post which I thought quoted Gwing as saying "Distilled at night and sold mostly in gallon containers. However, It's not available in stores."
That led me to my remark. But, I guess I read it wrong and it was Seadog addressing gwing. I get so confused when there are colors.
Respectfully Submitted
Xhi
The Computer Whisperer
Everyone is entitled to my opinion |
Edited by - xhi on 05/10/2011 14:24:30 |
|
|
|
Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2011 : 17:48:54
|
Xhi, I'm sorry if my coloring the name of the person I'm addressing is confusing. I like to use colors to let the person know I'm directing my attention to him or her. Besides that I like colors, that may be the reason my Daughter and Granddaughter are artists.
Seadog |
|
|
|
xhi
Advanced Member
14282 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2011 : 19:17:57
|
I was only foolin'.
Respectfully Submitted
Xhi
The Computer Whisperer
Everyone is entitled to my opinion |
|
|
|
MrKite
Senior Member
2477 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2011 : 06:09:11
|
I seem to be the only one that is attune to your sense of humor, xhi. I don't know if that is good or bad. 
|
|
|
|
Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2011 : 09:56:21
|
The husband asked the wife what she would like to have for her birthday. The wife responded I want to be 10 again. So he packed her up and off they went. First, it was to an amusement park. They rode every roller coaster known to man uphill, downhill, over & under, in, out, thisaway & thataway. After that, he took her to an all you can eat burger joint double bacon cheeseburgers, pickles, cheese fries stacked high, milk shakes. Then it was to the movies- complete with popcorn, sodas and candy.
And then it was HOME. The wife couldnt wait to go to bed. Looking haggard, well beyond her years and close to upchucking the whole experience, the husband asked Well, hon, how did it feel to be 10 again? His wife replied I meant dress size stupid.
|
|
|
|
MrKite
Senior Member
2477 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2011 : 05:36:51
|
LIFE'S RULES
1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and s***head's.
2. The closest I ever got to 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
3. I live in my own little world, but it's okay, everyone knows me here.
4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with "GUESS" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"
5. I don't do drugs, 'cause I find I get the same effect by just standing up really fast.
6. A sign in a Chinese pet shop: 'BUY ONE DOG, GET ONE FLEA."
7. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "Terminal?"
10. I don't approve of political jokes; I've seen too many of them get elected.
11. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
12. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary's.
13. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
15. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, so therefore I am perfect.
16. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
17. That newsman, Bob Schiffer, must be a genius, because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer for brains."
18. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
20. How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
22. Marriage changes passion....suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
23. Why is it most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
24. Snowmen fall from heaven unassembled.
25. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
|
|
|
|
BillMsenior
Advanced Member
9260 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2011 : 10:02:26
|
 ..................
..................
..................
..................
..................
..................
..................
BMThe Silver Haired TechQuit your griping. If the Church was perfect, you wouldn't be able to join. |
|
|
|
cwsnyder2
Senior Member
3900 Posts |
Posted - 06/17/2011 : 14:12:17
|
quote:
Originally posted by MrKite
LIFE'S RULES
. . .
10. I don't approve of political jokes; I've seen too many of them get elected.
. . .
21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
These two rules really stood out for me. |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
|
© 2011 The Kim Komando Show, All rights reserved. |
|
|
|
|
|
KIM'S CLUB ![The Kim Komando Show [Logo]](http://static.komando.com/websites/www.komando.com/www/kk_header_footer/v9/img/komando-header-logo.png){kind=logo}
Jokes of the day