| Author |
 Topic  |
|
dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
 Posted - 08/22/2010 : 11:35:09
|
| touche! |
 |
|
|
cwsnyder2
Senior Member
3900 Posts |
Posted - 08/23/2010 : 10:05:37
|
You do know that B___ S___ produces a lot of methane? And methane is a greenhouse gas? Maybe we should propose shutting down Congress and only allowing them to meet 60 days every two years as a method of reducing greenhouse emissions. |
|
|
|
dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
Posted - 08/23/2010 : 10:44:45
|
Don't forget to tax them on their methane emissions. Maybe a flatulence tax would be appropriate.
dontknowsquat |
|
|
|
BillMsenior
Advanced Member
9259 Posts |
Posted - 08/23/2010 : 11:33:16
|
In addition to the FLATulence Tax, add a HOT AIR Tax, and then the low to medium income groups could save money by not owing so much Tax 
BMThe Silver Haired TechBOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON |
|
|
|
cwsnyder2
Senior Member
3900 Posts |
Posted - 08/23/2010 : 15:51:21
|
I had a second thought, maybe worse, maybe better: Add a 500% tax on political advertising outside of 30 days prior to polling dates. The tax would be used to fund candidates which do not advertise early and would remain in an escrow account if all major candidates violate the ban. Said advertising would include print, broadcast media, and Internet advertising and would be levied against whatever funding organization paid for the advertising. To be fair, third party funders not under the control of the candidate or the candidates party should be taxed at a 1000% rate, but not penalize the candidate. All negative advertising would be assessed at 3 times the normal rate outside of the campaigning season, and 50% of the advertising rates during the campaign season.
Would it help? Maybe not. My only real misgiving would be getting any incumbent politician to vote such a proposal into law.
cwsnyder2
Lord, May my words today be tender and sweet, for tomorrow I may have to eat them! |
|
|
|
dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
Posted - 08/24/2010 : 00:13:40
|
Have you seen Brewster's Millions?
Every ballot should have a NONE OF THE ABOVE choice. An empty seat may be preferable to an occupied one. |
|
|
|
Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2010 : 08:45:21
|
After finishing his examination of an elderly gentleman, the doctor looked at his patient and said,
" I can't find the exact cause of your trouble, Sir, but it's probably due to drinking too much."
The patient looked at the doctor and replied, "Gee I'm sorry to hear that, doc. I'll come back when you're sober." |
|
|
|
CindyLou
Intermediate Member
867 Posts |
Posted - 11/14/2010 : 17:06:25
|
TRUCK STOP CAFE
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards." The brand new blond waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?" "No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon." "Oh,ok-I got it!" said the blond. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker looked at her a little puzzled and asked "Hey-what's with the beans Blondie?"
She said "I figured while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
|
|
|
|
BillMsenior
Advanced Member
9259 Posts |
Posted - 11/14/2010 : 17:16:01
|
 ..................
..................
..................
..................
..................
..................
..................
BMThe Silver Haired Tech I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it |
|
|
|
pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 11/16/2010 : 11:22:41
|
Thanks Cindy Lou for the chuckle.
Pharmacymom |
|
|
|
xhi
Advanced Member
14281 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2010 : 13:26:35
|
What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.
He then addressed the men. Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?
Frank leaned over, touched Anns arm gently, and whispered, Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isnt it?
And thus began Frank's life of celibacy...
Respectfully Submitted
Xhi
The Computer Whisperer
Never start vast projects with half-vast ideas
|
|
|
|
cwsnyder2
Senior Member
3900 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2010 : 16:35:13
|
| @Xhi, Does that count as a decision or circumstance? |
|
|
|
pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2010 : 03:43:41
|
Thanks XHI for the laugh.
Pharmacymom |
|
|
|
xhi
Advanced Member
14281 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2011 : 12:34:25
|
I was in Starbucks recently when I had the desperate urge to pass gas. The music was really, really loud so I timed the passing with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs I began to feel much better. I finished my coffee and stood up to leave when everyone in the store started to applaud.
It was then that I remembered I was listening to my iPod...
...and how was your day?
Respectfully Submitted
Xhi
The Computer Whisperer
Never start vast projects with half-vast ideas |
Edited by - xhi on 01/01/2011 12:37:00 |
|
|
|
BillMsenior
Advanced Member
9259 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2011 : 16:35:32
|
I just got off the phone with a friend in Utah
He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist
high and is still falling.
The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing.
His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window.
He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
BMThe Silver Haired Tech I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
|
|
|
|
Topic |
|
KIM'S CLUB ![The Kim Komando Show [Logo]](http://static.komando.com/websites/www.komando.com/www/kk_header_footer/v9/img/komando-header-logo.png){kind=logo}
Jokes of the day