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CindyLou
Intermediate Member
867 Posts |
 Posted - 06/20/2010 : 12:53:41
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Gynecological Visit
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.
"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years. There's nothing you can't tell me."
"This one's kind of strange," the woman said.
"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.
"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down, the water was full of pennies."
"I see," commented the doctor calmly.
"That afternoon, I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl," the woman continued.
"That night," she went on, "I went again, and plink-plink-plink, there were dimes. This morning, there were quarters!"
"You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!" she implored. "I'm scared out of my wits!"
The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about," he said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Ready for this?)
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(I'm warning you.....)
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(Still not too late.....delete now!)
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"You're simply going through the change!"
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xhi
Advanced Member
14282 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2010 : 13:23:58
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I've been wondering where the Chefkat was getting her garage sale money lately.
Respectfully Submitted
Xhi
The Computer Whisperer
Never start vast projects with half-vast ideas |
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Primrose
Intermediate Member
1282 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2010 : 04:57:05
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Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It's too good not to pass along..
The conversation went like this...
Iranian Air Defense Radar:
'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace.
Identify yourself.'
Aircraft:
'This is a United States Aircraft. I am in
Iraqi airspace.'
Iranian Air Defense Radar:
'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our
airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft:
'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18
fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Iranian Air Defense Radar:
(no response ..... total silence
Primrose |
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dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2010 : 00:06:43
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A man and his wife went to the bank and asked for a home improvement loan.
The loan officer asked what they wanted to spend the money on.
They replied in unison, "a divorce."
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dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2010 : 10:36:49
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After sharing this one via email, I decided to share it here also.
The sign on a resale shop reads:
Jewelry
Umbrellas
Notions
Knickknacks |
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BillMsenior
Advanced Member
9259 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2010 : 10:26:42
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A policeman was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.
Q: "Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room? And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
The courtroom exploded with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
BMThe Silver Haired TechBOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON |
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dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2010 : 14:29:39
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Murphy's most important law:
Don't mess with Mrs. Murphy! |
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cwsnyder2
Senior Member
3900 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2010 : 15:21:36
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What color was George Washington's white horse?
Answer: Gray. Highlight the area to the left to check the answer. Check this link for more information and clarification. |
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Diablo
Senior Member
1709 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2010 : 15:35:29
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quote:
Originally posted by cwsnyder2
What color was George Washington's white horse?
Answer: Gray. Highlight the area to the left to check the answer. Check this link for more information and clarification.
Interesting,
My first horse named Shadow was a sorrel mare.
Diablo |
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xhi
Advanced Member
14282 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2010 : 16:49:12
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My daughters horse was a bay. His show name was "Dad's Promise", but we called him Fred. He was "Dad's Promise", because when I left for Viet Nam I told them if they did not let their Mother cut their hair while I was gone I would buy them a horse when I returned. I had three beautiful, long haired daughters when I got home.
Respectfully Submitted
Xhi
The Computer Whisperer
Never start vast projects with half-vast ideas |
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dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2010 : 06:54:45
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| If con is the opposite of pro, does that make congress the opposite of progress???? |
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dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2010 : 06:56:36
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| Why do they sterilize the needles used for lethal injection??? |
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2010 : 08:06:36
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quote:
Originally posted by dontknowsquat
If con is the opposite of pro, does that make congress the opposite of progress????
The motorhome had a license plate that would fit this one to a tee. Unfortunately I cannot post the whole saying here but it says this coach powered by Washington B.......
Pharmacymom |
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dontknowsquat
Senior Member
1505 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2010 : 08:48:41
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Hmmmm!
I didn't know they raised cattle in Washington.
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BillMsenior
Advanced Member
9259 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2010 : 09:15:36
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That's because they are disguised as our Representatives, but if you step inside the meeting hall, you can sure tell they're cattle.
BMThe Silver Haired Tech I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it |
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