| Author |
 Topic  |
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
 Posted - 11/21/2006 : 19:42:09
|
A man notices a blond girl walk out of her house to her mailbox. She looks in, closes the door and goes back in the house. A few minutes later she comes back out, looks in the mailbox, slams it shut and walks back into the house. Yet, a few minutes later she stomps to the mailbox, looks in and slams it shut. The man finaly asks her, "What are you doing?"
She answers annoyed, "My computer keeps telling me I have mail, but there's nothing in there!" |
 |
|
|
Uriah
Senior Member
3604 Posts |
Posted - 11/21/2006 : 21:04:26
|
Chuckle, chortle, belly laugh!
Yesterday's a memory, tomorrow's a dream . . . Enjoy today!
Uriah |
|
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2006 : 21:39:10
|
A burglar breaks into a home in the bedroom and proceeds to the chest when he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching!"
He looks around, but sees nothing. He proceeds to load loot in his bag when suddenly the voice said again, "Jesus is watching!"
He looks in the corner to see a bird in a cage. He asks the parrot, "Is that you saying 'Jesus is watching?'"
The parrot answers, "Yes."
"Well, who are you?" The burglar demanded.
"I'm Moses." the bird replied.
"Well, who would be dumb enough to name their bird Moses?"
The bird says, "The same people dumb enough to name their 250 pound rotwieler Jesus!" |
|
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2006 : 18:57:10
|
A preacher began to notice a man in the front row starting to doze off during his sermon, so he began to speak louder. It seemed the louder he spoke the more asleep the man apeared to be. Finally he said, "Could somebody please wake that man up?"
The person sitting next to the slumbering man said, "Wake him up yourself. You put him to sleep!" |
|
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2006 : 19:10:04
|
To men wondered if there was baseball in heaven. They agreed that whoever died first would come back and inform the other. As fate would have it, one of the men died. As promised he came back to tell his friend if there was baseball in heaven. He told him, "Well, I have good news and bad news."
"what's the good news?" Said the living man.
"The good news is there is baseball in heaven."
"What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is you're scheduled to pitch next Friday." |
|
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1277 Posts |
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2007 : 13:12:00
|
Zak,
You took me right down memory lane. I was just earlier at another bus companies yard (who our bus company works closely with) and they still use a monochrome monitor and the old fashioned IBM mainframe (not a clone) system in the bus wash. Just think. In the 80's that was state of the art. Today? No match for today's more powerful and more demanding computers.
Yesterday: You had to set the BIOS manually.
Today: The computer sets everything for you. All you do is press a button. Even in Vista you no longer really have to uninstall old drivers. Just install the new hardware and off you go!
Microsoft always did have a knack for the inane. Check this out. |
|
|
|
morgoth
Intermediate Member
864 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2007 : 16:11:32
|
remember setting screen colours manually and tweaking config.sys and autoexec.bat to get those last few bytes of ram?
HIMEMSYS=
to thwart prying eyes I used to PROMPT yes master
( I liked a subservient computer in those days )
when they could not see C:> they were forever lost.....
but Linda seemed to be able to untie her tie and keep that cursor moving across the screen. what a babe!
less talented am I, at no time do my fingers leave my hands. |
|
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1277 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2007 : 06:47:01
|
Them was really the days... and it's a good song too:
http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/
Did the ZX Spectrum make it over to the US? The ZX81 I think was called the Timex Sinclair 1000 - the US ads had the tag line "Finally you can afford to satisfy your lust for power". The UK ads had the mellower "Within months you'll be talking to it like an old friend".
|
Edited by - *user deleted* on 02/23/2007 11:49:03 |
|
|
|
LLZKC
Senior Member
1708 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2007 : 09:11:37
|
You folks are always mellower, kinder and gentler, and certainly more civil than we, Zak. It is so much more attractive, and it begs the question, 'why don't we learn?' 
..Linda |
Edited by - LLZKC on 02/23/2007 09:12:32 |
|
|
|
morgoth
Intermediate Member
864 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2007 : 14:57:32
|
some of us did. yes?
(learn)
been "playing" all day writing in LISP, 'cos when I got into the program I wanted to tweak I was quite dissatisfied with my own work. the subtle difference between an if statement and a well placed cond statement.
all this so I don't have to draw my own rectangles......
(it might be a little more complex than that)
the video was a pleasant diversion. thanks.
..Linda
I think maybe we started going bad with a certain lack of attention to detail, like leaving the "u" out of colour.
pay me no mind. there are mashed potatoes betwixt my ear lobes at this moment. and the lovely wife just handed me something I can bill for.
ha ha ha ha ha
(maniacal laughter)
oh, by the way, it certainly was the Timex Sinclair.
the astronauts took into space the HP 41.
frugal? or were they just more competent?
|
|
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1277 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2007 : 15:33:20
|
quote:
Originally posted by morgoth
oh, by the way, it certainly was the Timex Sinclair.
the astronauts took into space the HP 41.
frugal? or were they just more competent?
Well... the ZX81/Time Sinclair was very prone to RAM pack 'wobble' hanging it (I'm very reluctant to use the phrase 'crashing the system'). My favourite cure was blu tack and a base of butchered cassette cases - never thought I'd ever be writing that on the internet.
And operating that membrane keyboard with astronaut gloves - impossible I'd have thunk.
Oh, it was also very prone to overheating too...
Houston we have a problem  |
|
|
|
Uriah
Senior Member
3604 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2007 : 20:24:31
|
I wish I had a joke I could contribute but I will probably remain in the audience. My jokes probably wouldn't get past the censor.
I'm guffawing my head off at this thread!
Every day is like a Cracker Jack's box! It has a prize inside!
Uriah |
|
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2007 : 13:44:06
|
quote:
Originally posted by LLZKC
You folks are always mellower, kinder and gentler, and certainly more civil than we, Zak. It is so much more attractive, and it begs the question, 'why don't we learn?'
..Linda
Kinder and gentler I agree, but they do have a wild side too. |
|
|
|
*user deleted*
Intermediate Member
1417 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2007 : 13:45:43
|
quote:
Originally posted by zak
Them was really the days... and it's a good song too:
http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/
Did the ZX Spectrum make it over to the US? The ZX81 I think was called the Timex Sinclair 1000 - the US ads had the tag line "Finally you can afford to satisfy your lust for power". The UK ads had the mellower "Within months you'll be talking to it like an old friend".
Hey Zak,
Keep those great sites coming man! I enjoy them immensely! |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
KIM'S CLUB ![The Kim Komando Show [Logo]](http://static.komando.com/websites/www.komando.com/www/kk_header_footer/v9/img/komando-header-logo.png){kind=logo}
Jokes of the day