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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
 Posted - 01/25/2009 : 13:50:08
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quote:
Originally posted by Picaninny
Chris... that one was really cute 
Jan... loved it
Picaninny
HAHA! I loved them too Sometimes we just need a very good chuckle eh   
Jan |
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infohound
Senior Member
3912 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2009 : 14:37:30
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| Very cute Jan and Chris... Nothing as cute as children and how they interpret things. |
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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2009 : 19:11:08
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quote:
Originally posted by infohound
Very cute Jan and Chris... Nothing as cute as children and how they interpret things.
The Grandma Test
I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took
the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
'Why?' my Granddaughter asked.
'Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's
dirty, and probably has germs,' I replied. At this point, my
granddaughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Grandma,
how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.' I was thinking
quickly. 'All Grandmas know this stuff. It's on the Grandma Test.
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma.'
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information. 'Oh.....I get it!' she beamed, 'So if
you don't pass the test you have to be the Grandpa'.
'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.
H48 |
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Picaninny
Intermediate Member
1186 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2009 : 19:16:39
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Very cute Jan It always amazes me what they come up with.
Picaninny |
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Snowball
Senior Member
2686 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2009 : 19:55:21
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| Quick thinking on your part, Jan! |
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infohound
Senior Member
3912 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2009 : 20:10:58
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quote:
Quick thinking on your part, Jan! Snowball
Quick Thinking is on the Grandma test too. very cute Jan. |
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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2009 : 09:52:41
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quote:
Originally posted by infohound
quote:
Quick thinking on your part, Jan! Snowball
Quick Thinking is on the Grandma test too. very cute Jan.
I found that on Humour and Urban Legends board Snowball so it's just coinkydink that I have a 4 yr old granddaughter http://tinyurl.com/cs3sxh
H48 |
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H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2009 : 10:00:37
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couldn't help but get a chuckle from a cousin's e-mail.....
80 year old woman with Condom
"Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted"
H48 |
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infohound
Senior Member
3912 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2009 : 11:18:14
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| That is cute.. |
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Picaninny
Intermediate Member
1186 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2009 : 18:32:08
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quote:
Originally posted by infohound
That is cute..
DITTO
Picaninny |
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MrKite
Senior Member
2476 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2009 : 12:35:04
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Two rednecks, Jimbo and Bubba, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jimbo turns to Bubba and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.'
Bubba thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.
The next day, Jimbo goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.
'Logic?' Jimbo says. 'What's that?'
The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'
'Yeah.'
'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.'
'That's true, I do have a yard.'
'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.'
'Yes, I do have a house.'
'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'
'Yes, I have a family.'
'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.'
'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.'
Excited to take the class now, Jimbo shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bubba at the bar. He tells Bubba about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.
'Logic?' Bubba says, 'What's that?'
Jimbo says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'
'No'
'Then you're a queer.' |
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Snowball
Senior Member
2686 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2009 : 18:10:38
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| I think that's why he was signed up to take the class! |
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 16:43:58
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A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know" the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was six I got 'There's no Easter Bunny ' speech,"
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with 'There's no Santa' speech,
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing else to live for."
Seadog |
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WiPer06
Junior Member
137 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2009 : 21:27:04
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,
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing
his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her
birthday was not far
off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still
looking in the mirror .
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made
her a nice big bowl
of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme
park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide,
the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller
Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her
a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and
her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed
into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear,
what was it like being six again?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly
changed. 'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening,
he is gonna get it wrong.
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gwing1
Junior Member
423 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2009 : 07:39:58
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I like that one WiPer06 !!! |
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