| Author |
 Topic  |
|
Fuzzy317
Junior Member
173 Posts |
 Posted - 09/08/2008 : 23:28:29
|
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
 |
 |
|
|
pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 05:40:56
|
Talk about memory problems. I guess senior moments really set in for this gentleman. Thanks Fuzzy.
Pharmacym |
|
|
|
H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 09:43:32
|
| GO RAVENS |
|
|
|
H48
Senior Member
3841 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 09:52:31
|
quote:
[quote]Originally posted by billmellon
The scary part is it comes with an MSDS (Material Safety Data Sheet). 
I spent quite a number of years formulating the HazMat plan for our County which involved individual facility surveys which had a myriad of hazmats with accompanying MSDS info. Knowing the OH Turnpike runs through our county gives me quiet assurance that a plan is in place for dealing with the possibility of a spill or incident. As I pass these haulers on our nation's roadways I smile to myself and am thankful for the training and knowledge gained pursuing that line of work. Most products these days come with the proverbial disclaimers for sure. Interesting product Seadog
H48 |
|
|
|
Daydreamer
Junior Member
151 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 09:58:39
|
  A friend sent me this:
!WARNING!
Due to the frequency of human-bear encounters, the D.C. Fish and Wildlife Branch is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and any persons that use the out-of-doors in a recreational or work related function to take extra precautions while in the field.
We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so a to give advance warning to any bears that might be close by so you don't take them by surprise.
We also advise anyone using the out-of-doors to carry "Pepper Spray" with him in case of an encounter with a bear.
Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, and be able to tell the differences between Black Bear scat and Grizzly Bear scat. Black Bear scat is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly Bear scat has bells in it and smells like pepper. 
|
|
|
|
Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 14:08:59
|
OUT OF GAS...
A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.'
'What's that mean?' asked the child.
'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.' Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'
The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'
If you ain't laffin'...
You ain't livin'
Seadog |
|
|
|
CindyLou
Intermediate Member
867 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 16:08:01
|
Haven't checked in a while. Good ones!
Thanks to all for the Laughter! |
|
|
|
pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 09/11/2008 : 09:31:12
|
Good one Seadog. Thanks for the chuckle. I know the experience first hand with my Lucy. She had a few litters in her younger years, but of course they were sired by Tiny.
Pharmacymom |
|
|
|
Fuzzy317
Junior Member
173 Posts |
Posted - 09/14/2008 : 22:35:38
|
His & Her Diaries
HER DIARY:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY:
My Harley wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.
|
|
|
|
pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2008 : 06:07:05
|
Ah yes, the love of a machine often takes higher priority than the love of a mate. Thanks for the laugh.
pharmacymom |
|
|
|
CindyLou
Intermediate Member
867 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2008 : 21:45:26
|
THE FIRETRUCK
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he sees a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung on the side & a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog & her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter says with admiration. 'Thanks,' the girl says.
The firefighter looks a little closer & notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar & to the cat's testicles. 'Little partner,' the firefighter says,' I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, too, I think you could go faster.'
The little girl replies thoughtfully, ' you're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
|
|
|
|
infohound
Senior Member
3912 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2008 : 00:05:57
|
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by a young, new doctor.
After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out of the room, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
|
|
|
|
pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2008 : 06:02:20
|
Thanks Fran and Renae for the laughs. Both were good.
Pharmacymom |
|
|
|
CindyLou
Intermediate Member
867 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2008 : 14:18:32
|
The popsicle
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted. "An Ambulance just drove by."
"Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike..." "Looks like the Sanders are moving out" "Jason is on his skate board..."
After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they are having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a popsicle."
|
|
|
|
pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 09/22/2008 : 04:30:48
|
Thanks for the laugh Fran. Kids do know more than what we think.
Pharmacymom |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
KIM'S CLUB ![The Kim Komando Show [Logo]](http://static.komando.com/websites/www.komando.com/www/kk_header_footer/v9/img/komando-header-logo.png){kind=logo}
Jokes of the day