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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
 Posted - 07/26/2008 : 09:07:07
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"Now that is FUNNY.
Lenny
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Ditto Lenny.
Seadog |
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xhi
Advanced Member
14282 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2008 : 09:39:43
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Those last two both deserve a big
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Xhi
Never start vast projects with half-vast ideas
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2008 : 16:54:34
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I am still laughing at it. Thanks Renae.
Pharmacymom |
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Picaninny
Intermediate Member
1186 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2008 : 18:49:13
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Infohound...thanks for that one I needed a good laugh.
Picaninny |
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Fuzzy317
Junior Member
173 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2008 : 21:39:56
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A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'
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Edited by - Fuzzy317 on 07/27/2008 21:42:51 |
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Fuzzy317
Junior Member
173 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2008 : 22:54:28
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One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her
parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket,
motorcycle boots, tattoos and more piercings than they wanted to
count.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their
concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem
very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would
he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2008 : 06:39:59
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OOPS!!! Guess the daughter needs an education in the justice system and sentences. Thanks Fuzzy. It really hit home as my daughter with BP is still trying to spread her wings and does not have good sense in picking boyfriends.
Pharmacymom |
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Picaninny
Intermediate Member
1186 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2008 : 17:54:58
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Fuzzy317... Both of those were great
Picaninny |
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dadmc1
Senior Member
2512 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2008 : 20:06:44
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One day Papa Mole, Mama Mole, and Baby Mole were hurrying down one of their tunnels.
Suddenly, Papa Mole stopped. "I smell sugar", he exclaimed!
"I smell honey", said Mama Mole.
"Funny", Baby Mole stated, "All I smell is molasses".
Chris |
Edited by - dadmc1 on 08/01/2008 13:48:59 |
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Fuzzy317
Junior Member
173 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2008 : 23:25:00
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| Thats a good one. I will borrow that for another bbs. |
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Daydreamer
Junior Member
151 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2008 : 08:13:59
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  what's left to say.... |
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Daydreamer
Junior Member
151 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2008 : 09:44:00
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THERE ARE 2 SIDES TO EVERY STORY ....
A nice, calm, respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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Edited by - Daydreamer on 08/01/2008 09:45:10 |
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dadmc1
Senior Member
2512 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2008 : 13:54:05
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Good one, Daydreamer.
Chris |
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2008 : 05:05:47
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THanks for the chuckle Daydreamer. Keep em coming.
Pharmacymom |
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2008 : 09:05:35
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You have lived to be old and think you know what you are...then along comes someone and blows it all to the dickens!
The Old Cowboy
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.'
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