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Fuzzy317
Junior Member
173 Posts |
 Posted - 05/06/2008 : 17:44:14
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Bubba and Ray (Civil Engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.'
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a Tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,' and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'
Bubba and Ray are currently working for the government supervising the reconstruction of the New Orleans levees.
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2008 : 01:21:58
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My dad loved engineer jokes (he was an engineer). Thanks for the laugh Fuzzy.
Pharmacymom |
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MrKite
Senior Member
2476 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2008 : 05:27:06
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Two engineers were discussing recent experiences. The first one says, "I was coming out of the library and getting into my car. A gorgeous brunette rides up to me on a bicycle, takes off all her clothes, and tells me to take whatever I want".
The second engineer replies, "Well, what did you do?"
The first one says, "I took the bicycle".
The second one says, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway".
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2008 : 17:52:23
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Thanks Mr. Kite. I liked that one too.
Pharmacymom
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infohound
Senior Member
3912 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2008 : 19:25:10
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 Cute joke MrKite |
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Picaninny
Intermediate Member
1186 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2008 : 20:03:16
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MrKite...
Picaninny |
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morgoth
Intermediate Member
864 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2008 : 20:42:11
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an old standby...
It came to pass that an engineer was (mistakenly) sent to Hell.
Immediately upon arrival he complained loudly that there had been an error, that he should not be there. He was sent to the elevator, as Satan's office was on the 13th floor. There was a large sign on the door which said: OUT OF SERVICE. So, the engineer spent his first day in Hell fixing the elevators.
Upon his second day, he took the elevator up to the 13th floor, and went to office of Satan, where he made his complaint. The Devil said, "I would LOVE to help you, but I can't get the secretary to do anything with the air conditioning broken. It's hotter than Hell in here....." So, he spent his second day in Hell fixing the AC.
On the third day, he rose again in the elevator, to the office of the Devil and reiterated. ""I would LOVE to help you, but the phones haven't worked for a couple hundred years." And so his third day was spent fixing the phone system.
He had just completed the repairs on the phone, and was about to leave when the Hot Line on Lucifer's desk RANG. It was God.
"Lucifer, I hear you have one of MY engineers down there."
"You might be right about that," the Devil replied, in considerably more comfortable than he had been in a couple thousand years. "What are you going to do about it?"
"WHY - I'LL SUE !" declared the Lord.
"Yeah? Where are you going to get a lawyer?"
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infohound
Senior Member
3912 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2008 : 20:45:44
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Morgoth... That is priceless and perfectly logical. Renae |
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Picaninny
Intermediate Member
1186 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2008 : 21:05:04
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morgoth...A good one for sure
Picaniny |
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 05:00:06
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If the engineers can't resolve the situation, let the lawyers have at it. Thanks Morgoth. I enjoyed the chuckle too.
Pharmacymom
PS: My dad would have loved it too.
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Seadog
Intermediate Member
1078 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 09:00:38
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While walking by a house being built two Idiots, let's call them Moe and Bo, saw this sign that carpenters were needed to install siding.
They walked up to a man they assumed to be the Foreman, He was wearing a white hard hat, and told him that they need a Job and knew how to install Siding. The Foreman told them to go to this Pickup and get them a Hammer and a Nail pouch and fill it with nails and start installing the siding.
After being on the scaffold several minutes, Bo noticed Moe would drive a few nails then throw some on the ground. Bo asked Moe "Why are you throwing some of the nails away." Moe said, " The heads of some of the nails are on the wrong end." Bo then said, "Idiot, Don't throw them away, we'll need them for the other side of the house." |
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Picaninny
Intermediate Member
1186 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 18:22:48
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Seadog... That was
Picaninny |
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infohound
Senior Member
3912 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 19:21:41
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| Hi Seadog... Funny and I am pretty sure that Bo and Moe worked on our house after Hurricane Andrew, although that was NOT funny. How are you doing with your getting ready for Summer chores? Renae |
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pharmacymom
Advanced Member
6303 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 20:19:54
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Seadog, thanks for the chuckle. I am in the middle of a home improvement project and seriously hope that Moe and Bo do not appear to work on it.
Pharmacymom |
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Fuzzy317
Junior Member
173 Posts |
Posted - 05/09/2008 : 20:59:48
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Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Hospital Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays a sound mind. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
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